Wednesday, April 18, 2012

canola oil's other use


best pregnancy dress ever: Liz Lange for Target, scarf: F21, jacket: Tracy Feith for Target, pearls: Nordstrom Rack


the baby dreams are startin' to get weird. REAL WEIRD. i.e. JF came skipping and dancing a jig out of the womb. and i had another where Cleo was the one who gave birth to a puppy that later turned into the baby.

i bought a dress. a post pregnancy dress that i cannot wait to wear. it's the first real thing i've bought since i got huge. i got so excited about it that i tried to put it on when i got it home yesterday, but it didn't work. it got caught at the top of my stomach, so the next 5 minutes were spent sweating, yelling out for help (no one was home but me) and finally wriggling out of it. 

we have birth class tonight. last week the instructor told us we should lie at home on our backs and have our partners use canola oil on their thumbs to stretch out our vaginal openings. JJ and i looked at each other in horror. we wanted to barf. that is never happening. i mean c'mon is she SERIOUS?! canola oil? JJ's thumbs? my vaginal opening? stretching? that sounds like a god damn nightmare. obviously i can't wait to see what wonderful tip the instructor gives us this week. 

14 comments:

  1. In the movie Baby Momma, Amy Poehler asks the instructor if it would be ok if she "sprayed a little Pam down there instead". bahaha

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  2. I just threw up in my mouth a little. JJ is my BROTHER! I can't even think about it...

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  4. OMG, EW! L- that is totally horrific! I can only imagine the stories you will incur tonight from the other mommies-to-be. Yikes! On the flip side, your jacket looks fab :)

    XO,
    http://prettyinpink925.blogspot.com/

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  5. I think if I were in your place, I probably would have had the same reaction (seriously... OMG canola oil? That's like the time Dr. Oz told old women who aren't getting any to use olive oil to keep their interior lady-bits in good working order!!)

    But think of it like this: You had to do some vaginal work to make that baby in the first place, right? So... uh... make canola oil part of your "sexy time" and just go for it. :)

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  6. I just came across your blog and I just wanted to take a sec to tell you that I've been sitting at my desk laughing/crying at your blog posts. You are hilarious. And also the cutest preggo I have seen in a while.

    Your newest follower,
    Sarah
    smalltowncatwalk.blogspot.ca

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  7. as soon as I saw the blogpost title I knew you were goin 'there.' omg.ew.

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  8. How are you SO hilarious?
    I'm really loving your blog and will be back...every day.

    Maja

    http://clotheskinksandcurls.blogspot.ca/

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  9. LOL!! oh my gosh that's hysterical!

    Love the ensemble! :D

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  10. omg, i've been reading your blog for awhile now (sorry that just sounded UBER stalker-like) you are hilariously roll around on the floor funny and your outfits are so adorb! will be a conitunous follow!!

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  11. well mama. okay so, since YOU brought it up.. stretching is better than the alternative. i'll leave it at that. i did it and it worked. :D

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  13. Do they recommend Canola use during birthing if Canola over-use occurred during conception? JW....

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  14. Ring. Of. Fire.

    Picturing the demonstration.

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