Monday, June 4, 2012

blah blah baby!

oh. em. gee.

FIRST of all: i want to say thank you. thank you my kind, wonderful gorgeous readers for the sweet comments, i love you!

i thought i would have all the time in the world to blog at home all day, but Gemstone keeps me so busy!

i ended up having to get a c-section (more on that later--i completely lost track of time and sanity...i need JJ and my Mom to fill in the missing pieces) so i'm still pretty immobile at this point. one grandpa-paced walk a day down the street and back is my cap. my Mom took this pic on thursday. it was our very first walk, and it felt wonderful. except for the moment when the big black bee flew too close to Gemma's face and i started crying a little bit. ohsodramatic. 

a couple things about this picture: i have the most insanely fat feet ever in life from all the fluids they pumped in me. think nutty professor fat. the only shoes i can fit in are my uggs. i even had to walk out of the hospital in my socks because i couldn't put tennis shoes on. also, please note that i am wearing JJ's underwear in this picture and you can see them all bunched up inside my right pant leg. and then there's my roots. MY. ROOTS. i am WORSE than shakira in this photo. holy hell! we had our family/newborn photos taken yesterday, and i did NOT want to look like a hobo in them. so JJ the Saint let me leave the house for a couple hours on saturday to pop into the beauty school to get a mini highlight sesh. isn't that SO NICE?! finally, i want to say how OBSESSED Gemcake and i are with the baby k'tan. we love to snuggle. except the wrap is a biiiiit tight because my belly is...well, it can only be described as a big, weird deflated beach ball with a coconut on the inside.

and then there was last night. Gemma had an MFing thanksgiving FEAST of a dinner and proceeded to have 4 (read FOUR) blowouts in an hour. there was shit everywhere. so. much. shit. JJ and i were DYING laughing at the sounds coming from our tiny child's ass, so hilarious. then she went to sleep. and i didn't wake up until 9 am. i didn't even bat an eyelash when JJ kissed us goodbye for work. i was so out cold. then at 9 i sat upright in bed which hurt like HELL because it made my (sexy) incision burn. and my Dolly Parton--sized tits were THROBBING. they needed to be milked. so bad! but mostly i was frightened. SO FRIGHTENED. Gem had slept 8 full hours without waking up. i was afraid to peek over into her bassinet because i thought she was dead.

but she was totally fine. girlfriend was just sleeping away after the exciting evening of eatin and poopin. i made her wake up and eat but i was still sort of panicky, so i called my Mom and the pediatrician and JJ and everyone assured me she was just fine. she was just giving Mom and Dad a solid night of sleep, isn't she just so thoughtful?! 


  1. Love baby gemstone! And honey, you haven't seen dolly Parton tits like mine...I guess it's all relative!

  2. Hands down the baby k'tan is the best. I hear ya there!

    You look great - don't fret a bit ... you have the new mama wonderful glow. I still tell myself that I have the glow 20 months later ... you know, so I don't have to do my hair and makeup everyday!

  3. I am just so happy for you!! You are such a cute momma

  4. my first out loud laugh of the day. love it and that Baby G. She's a doll.

  5. as if you're posts weren't already good enough! adding the baby stories = awesome!

  6. Love reading your blog! It always puts a smile on my face and even some hilarious LOL moments :-) Congratulations on the new life with baby G!

  7. You are so awesome L and I just love reading your blog!! Congratulations on your gorgeous baby girl!! :)


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