me: "we are going to get Washington driver's licenses today."
JJ: "NOOOOOOOOOARGHHHHHHHFFFUUUUUHHHHMMMMMMPPPPPPNOOOOOOO! it's my day off! i don't want to!"
me: "we are going and that is final. it's the law, JJ."
JJ: "NO. NO NO NO NO NO. I HATE THE DMV. PLUS IT WILL COST LIKE $60."
me: "we need to register to vote in Washington before the election. WE HAVE TO VOTE JJ!"
JJ: "FINE. FINE. but i want Jimmy John's for lunch then." (which i think was meant to annoy me but really i was beyond thrilled).
so we got dressed (well, some of us got dressed. others may have been a bit bratty. others wanted nothing to do with real pants, because they had already planned on wearing Nike sweats all day). Gem looked the cutest because she was in the autumn spirit:
you guys. that ghost glows in the DARK. IT GLOWS.
then we hopped in the car and off to get new licenses we went.
we arrived and obviously the office was bursting with idiots. JJ gave me a stern look and snatched a number and sat down heavily next to me to make his point that he indeed did not want to be there. after we had been sitting there for 20 minutes, a girl donning playboy bunny pajama pants and an unlit cigarette dangling from her fingers, made her presence known by hacking up a lung and shouting "fuuuuuuuuuuuuu*k! i ain't gonna wait in here the whole time! i'm goin' for a smoke." we were so glad she told us her plan. i visibly cringed and JJ raised his eyebrows at me as if to say, "see? told you this was a bad idea." Gemma didn't seem to mind that we were spending the day in the threshold of Hell, though:
well, an hour went by. a whole hour. and they didn't call our number. and we had to leave because JJ had a doctor's appointment. so we got to the car and JJ was all "ha. ha. ha. i told you that was going to be miserable and we didn't even get anything done." alkdfjlkasdfjk i hate when he is right as a direct result of me being wrong. then Cleo drove us to JJ's appointment.
and after the appointment we went to Jimmy John's as promised. then i said, "okaywearegoingbacktothedmv" and JJ practically threw himself onto the pavement in angst. but we went back. and waited 40 minutes. AND THEN OUR NUMBER WAS CALLED. that is such a great moment, isn't it? when your number is called after you have been waiting for so long? like you are sitting there saying the number over and over in your head, and when the guy with the number right before yours makes his first move to leave and you know it's your turn next YOUR TURN NEXT, you are literally JUMPING IN YOUR SEAT IN ANTICIPATION OMG BECAUSE YOU ARE SO EXCITED and when that moment comes--the moment when your number is REALLY ACTUALLY CALLED OUT LOUD FOR EVERYONE TO HEAR, you walk up nice and slowly, rubbing it in that it is your turn, beaming and winking and waving as if you were walking down the god damned red carpet.
so we got to the counter and we told the lady what we needed. and she said, "that will be $160." and i could feel JJ's angry eyes baring into my soul. i said, "oh. um, i thought it was $60? because they are renewals?" and she said, "no. you are switching from California to Washington. $160." so JJ wrote the check with a hateful flourish. and then she said, "would you guys like to register to vote?" and i said "yes, yes we would." and she said, "well, it will not take effect until after the election." AUDIBLE NOISE SIMILAR TO DYING ANIMAL EMITS FROM JJ'S MOUTH. "oh? i um. i thought we could register here?" i said. "if you want to register in time for the election, you have to do it in person at a different office about an hour from here." aksdjfalsjkdflkajsdflajsdflkjasdlkfjlaks;dfjlaks;djflkasjdf. just please.
but how lucky are we that our new license pictures turned out so nicely?
OMG I'M KIDDING OBVIOUSLY. but really though, who in this world actually LIKES their license picture??