we took the little one to the pumpkin patch (i know, you're absolutely riveted. but c'mon, it's a rite of passage for all American babies, so i have to write about it). we went for about 10 minutes on sunday between rain showers.
on the way there we stopped for some coffee (we are so Seattle in the pictures, holding our two favorite things: Starbucks and our child). and after 4 sips, obviously i had to poop. so i was like ohmygoddddd JJ STOP THE CAR iamgoingtopoopmypants. and so he stopped at another starbucks just up the road from the first one. and wouldn't you JUST KNOW IT, NO BATHROOMS. the only GD Starbucks in the country with no bathrooms. kadjklajsdlf so i grumbled and nervously jiggled my leg in discomfort for the remainder of the trip, the promise of a Honeybucket sounding actually not even that bad.
we drove up to the patch and i saw a sign for the Cornmaze. AHHHHHJKDFJHDSFKJH JJ THE CORNMAZE WE HAVE TO DO THE CORNMAZEEEEEEEEE! JUST LIKE IN HIGH SCHOOOOOL! and JJ got all serious and stony-faced and said, "L, no. no we will not go in the cornmaze. when i was 7, i got lost in one." what a Debbie Downer.
so when we pulled in i was like "OH EM GEE I GOTTA GO REAL BAD, JUST DROP ME OFF." so i jumped out of the car and ran to the nearest Honeybucket. and just in case you were wondering: the lock was broken, the roll of toilet paper was on the ground all muddy and wet, and the shitter was so disgustingly full that i could actually see that the person who went before me had a corn on the cob for lunch. i almost vommed for real. but i had to go. so i held my breath and i went. and then i ran to the car and doused my entire self in anti-bacterial hand gel.
then we walked into the entrance of the pumpkin patch and it was basically just one giant sinking mudhole because of the rain. i shouted "ARGHH WHY DIDN'T WE JUST GO TO SAFEWAYYYYYY FOR PUMPKINS?!" and we really did consider leaving and going to Safeway. but no, we sucked it up. for the baby. and so we took a few obligatory pics:
and then we GTFOOT. (note: that little bear suit is the very first thing i bought for Baby JF ((who actually turned out to be Gemma)) and it was so cute to actually put her in it). (second note: don't even talk to me about JJ's mustache).
on the way home i declared, "i am going to do Martha Stewart pumpkins, so we need to stop at Target to get some glue." and JJ was thrilled because that got him out of carving pumpkins and he really hates carving pumpkins. only he missed the freeway exit for Target. and after we argued over whose fault it was that the exit was missed (JJ's), he said, "oh c'mon L, do we really need glue?!" and i said "YES, YES WE DO I SIMPLY CANNOT DO THE PROJECT WITHOUT GLUE." so we got off the freeway and turned around to head back to Target. and i took this hilar picture of Cleopatra's bad hair day:
and when we got to Target, JJ said, "we are only here for the glue, L." and i said, "wellllllll...except that while we are here, we need laundry detergent ohandiwantsomemorelimecornchips (you guys. seriously. the Archer Farms salt and lime corn chips. you'll die) and also Gemma needs shampoo." and to that, JJ snarled. so we got what we
and after we put Gemstone to bed, i rummaged around the craft box and dug up the Martha Stewart sugar sparkle glitter (and also i found a brand new package of glue hahahahaha) and then i made THESE:
GLAMOUR PUMPKINS! and i am obsessed. they were so easy! and obviously Gemma appreciates them and loves them so much. but i got sugar sparkle glitter all over the place, just like when i made my wedding gift boxes. JJ cleaned the house last night, but the house is still sparkling. it's fabulous.
the end. happy halloween!