Monday, December 31, 2012

fur vests for two on this new year's eve

the snow is proving to you what a cheat i am. this pic was taken two weeks ago (um, by the way: don't you feel like a panther is going to jump out of that black abyss there behind us??) but really this is what we are were going to wear tonight. then our plans changed and now we are going to be outside and freezing our asses off, so we need winter gear instead.

but really though, isn't NYE the most perfect time for a tulle tutu skirt and a fur vest? we think so! (also, i feel like this skirt looked 100% more awesome when i was pregnant).

today is semi back to normal and as i sit here writing thank you notes for our Christmas presents, i can't help but get a bit teary-eyed at the enormous generosity of my friends and family who were all so thoughtful and loving, and who all helped make Gemma's first Christmas such a memorable one. (GOD DAMMIT UNCLES CHUNKLE & NATE WE MISSED YOU! HOW RUDE OF YOU TO TAKE YOUR HONEYMOON! fyi. uncle chunkle is what we call my sister CA. no really, she likes it).  and this weekend we head to southern California to have our Little Christmas with JJ's family (a mini celebration after the real Yule passes) and i mean COME ON. how lucky are we? to be so full to the brim of such wonderful people in our lives? i'm just so grateful...omg L. like, WHAT is the deal? i'm so emotional! (everyone calm down, i didn't pull a Jessica Simpson. just feeling sappy and lovey dovey is all) and on that note: i wanted to extend a big fat Congratulations! to my friend Nel who had her beautiful baby boy on Christmas Day! we are both mothers! and to think just 1.5 short years ago we were getting drunken tattoos in Palm Springs by a man named "Dollar." oh how the time does fly...

and now on to the new year's resolutions:

1. kindness. KINDNESS.
2. stop saying "fuck" in front of the baby
3. pinch JJ's behind more often. he's got a nice one.
4. send more cards. snail mail. to the people i love.
5. run a 5K. (!!!!!!!!) YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT. RUN A 5K. but not just any 5K. A DISNEYLAND 5K YOU GUYS! HOLY SHIT I'M SO EXCITED I COULD DIE! me and JJ and Gemma will all run it together. and just to show off, JJ is running the half marathon the next day. i even got new tennis shoes for Christmas because JJ made fun of me and said my old ones looked like they were from the 80s.

have fun tonight. and don't drink and drive.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Christmas in the Northwest...

jeans/hat: Gap, tee: Old Navy, sweater: Love Couture Boutique in Selah!

is a gift God wrapped in greeeeen! don't you just love that song?

well Christmas is over. and i'm sad. SADSADSAD. Gemsie Bear was just so cute in her little elfin tights and ate all the wrapping paper and her favorite gift was the set of Uncle Goose blocks that JJ got her. AND she got a big girl car seat from Nannie and Bear so she is officially not an infant *tear*

we had a wonderfully white Christmas in Suncadia! which is where my sister CA GOT MARRIED LAST WEEKEND and it was so fun and she was so pretty in her beautiful dress and it was just a perfect lovely winter wonderland of a day. and we quoted the Grinch all night like the bunch of weirdos we are. IT'S BECAUSE I'M GREEN, ISN'T IT?! hahaahaa 

but sadly, JJ's dear Grandma died and her funeral was on the same day CA got married. JJ went to California for the funeral and i went to the wedding. it was a very happy and sad day all rolled into one. we miss you, Grandma Madeleine! 

and also i went snowshoeing on Christmas Eve. just please. i have this thing called FOMO. Fear Of Missing Out. and well, EVERYONEEEEE was going. and i just didn't want to be left out. i only fell once. and then on Christmas morning i couldn't walk because i pulled my groin muscle and was terribly sore from my adventure. 

then my Mom got the flu on Christmas and so we were like WE DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! MOM IS SICK BUT SHE'S THE ONE WHO MAKES ALL THE PLANS! so we just hung around watching Christmas movies all day. and Christmas dinner was made by my sister MM...a delicious feast of macaroni and grapes. and that night my sister CA's kitten Mabel snuck into our room, bit JJ on the wiener and farted in our bed. so, that was fun.

and yesterday i met up with my oldest friends Ty and Tara and their beautiful families and Gemma played with children and it was so great to see them! and then my dumb ass got stuck in their snowy driveway and so Ty had to come out and save me. and then when JJ, Gemma, Cleo and i were leaving my parents' house to come back home, we got stuck in their snowy driveway. AYE YI YI! so my Dad had to come out and save us. and now we are like MOTHERFUDGE THIS. WE ARE GETTING AN SUV WITH 4-WHEEL DRIVE. 

usually this post-Christmas month is a sad time of year for me. BUT we have a baby to hang out with this year. she's pretty fun. AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, my friend Sam is here visiting! she's downtown right now doing lawyer-y things (i dropped her off in my jammies with the baby in the car and shouted out the window "HAVE A GOOD WORK DAY HONEY!") so i'll have time to clean the house and do some laundry before i pick her up. 

and that is what's going on in the life of L. 

Monday, December 24, 2012


here's our family Christmas card 2012 edition. Cleo only has one eye in the pic. hahahaha.
and also i'm not tech savvy enough to figure anything out. so i just took a picture of the card on my phone and uploaded it to here. whatevs. 

JJ gets offended every year when i sign the Christmas card with my name only. i'm like WHAT?NO! you didn't write it. you don't get to take the credit, you fart knuckle. 

MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU GUYSSSSSS! have fun with your families and your traditions and your stockings full of goodies. 

and when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he'll see the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!

Thursday, December 20, 2012


would you just LOOK at these two? thick as thieves. 



now go and buy that blouse, girl. 

thanks for playing everyone! and thank you to Shabby Apple for sponsoring this fabulous giveaway!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012


skirt: BCBG, top: Anna Sui for Target, heels: Paolo, bag: Badgley Mischka via TJ Maxx

SSSNNNOOOWWW! and chilly legs. 

we're running around like a bunch of apes (no really, i'm wearing my black fur vest SO I REALLY LOOK LIKE AN APE!) trying to get organized for this intensely busy weekend. 

and also OMG GEMSICLE IS GROWING HER FIRST TOOTH AND I JUST WANT TO SMILE AND LOOK AT IT ALL DAYYYY except she gets really annoyed when i shove my fingers in her mouth to get a better peek. it's so tiny and cute. and apparently satsuma orange peels feel good on the tiny tooth?? because that's all she wants. 

tonight Gemsie is going to have a party with my cousin and his gf while JJ and i go to the CRACKER OF NUTSSSSSS! it's a bit of a tradition. JJ and i have been together for 6 (SIX OMG) years and he always takes me to the nutcracker because that's what he did on our 1 year dating anniversary. isn't he just the cutest?? i always sit on the edge of my seat and wish i was Clara. and JJ always falls asleep before the nutcracker even comes to life. 

ps don't forget to enter the Shabby Apple giveaway if you haven't already

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

what's on L's phone?!

and mayhem. and mess. 

Gemmie's first starbucks! 

wrapping presents. and letting babies chew on plastic bags. OMG YOU GUYS JUST KIDDING. i took it away from her.  

i love that pigeon. this was a fan favorite when i was working as a babysitter for my 3 little dolls. so i got it for Gemma for Christmas. only i accidentally ordered this GIANT VERSION. hajkkhfkdahahaaa my mom said, "is that a book for sight impaired babies??" so hilar. baby is going to love it though. 

lunch at Etta's with Nannie & Uncle Chunkle! i also spy a little pup in this pic! 

Moon was in town! yay! and these hats are the hats we both bought each other. so there were two sets of them. we have the same brain! was so fun to wear them out that night. not fun, however, was the stomach flu that attacked Moon and JJ for the rest of the weekend. bulghhhhhh. just gross. NOBODY likes the screaming 180 (you know, both ends. same time...) HOWEVER, GEMSIE AND I HAVE THE IMMUNE SYSTEMS OF OXEN! we stayed totally fine and healthy. 

HATS! if you follow me on instagram, you were totally annoyed by all the pics i posted of us wearing these hats. ahahahahaaa (FYI they are from the Neiman Marcus + Target line. Band of Outsiders designed them).

Gemma eats a french fry.  

 afternoon reading! Harry the Dirty Dog rulezzzz

ps don't forget to enter the Shabby Apple Giveaway if you haven't already!

Friday, December 14, 2012

Guideposts Story!

hi guys. i was published in Guideposts Magazine. in their Christmas Special The Joys of Christmas 2012. and also i look like an idiot in this picture. and also LOOK AT JJ'S FACE HAHAHAHHAA and how about my Dad?! hshahahjkdfahdsfjahld he looks so jolly.

you can read the story online HERE!


WE WENT DOWNTOWN TO MEET SANTA! and also to check out the Disney gingerbread mansions at the Sheraton. and also to meet up with my cousin so Gemma could scream in his office.

we ate sandwiches and sugar cookies in the car and parked the rig and strolled around downtown, gazing like tourists at the lovely Christmas decorations while trying to protect Gemma from getting high in the clouds of marijuana smoke. THEN we went to Nordstrom, where the most authentic Santa of all the Santas except for the real one, sits in his velvety green chair. and we went on a monday so there wouldn't be lines. we only had to wait 20 minutes! AND THEY GIVE YOU A WARM SNICKER DOODLE WHILE YOU WAITTTTT YOU GUYS.

and Gemma sat on Santa's lap and stared at him all "ummm i don't get it. what is the hype about you, dude?" and the man behind the camera waved all sorts of toys and bells to get the little baby to smile for the camera and she just stared at him like "guy. stop wasting your time. i'm not going to smile. you look like an ass waving your hands all about." and so the guy managed to get one small smirk and caught it on camera. and we are anxiously awaiting our prints to arrive in the mail so we can SEE HER FIRST SANTA FACE OMG. we decided this will be a tradition, going downtown to meet Nordstrom Santa every year. 

and then we went to my cousin's office. and laughed at his exercise ball that he sits on instead of a chair and i wondered how he farts quietly. because i mean, c'mon a fart would reverberate SO LOUDLY on an exercise ball in a quiet office. and then Gemma met my cousin's boss and that's when she started screaming. and then she snatched the candy cane Santa gave to me right out of my hands. and then she stopped crying. so i was like WHATEVS, BABY. ENJOY YOURSELF. and her entire self turned red and sticky and we didn't even care because she was happy. 

and then we drove home and don't my cheekbones look so fab in this pic? (the same can't be said for my claw talon of a finger that made its way into the photo)

and then we finished DECKING OUR HALLS! and took our family Christmas card photo and also this shot of Foxy Cleopatra that makes my heart melt with happiness because i just simply adore this little fur child of mine.

the end.


ps. don't forget to enter the Shabby Apple giveaway if you haven't already!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

omg you guys! you could winnnn!

the fabulous and classy Shabby Apple has offered a $50 gift card to one lucky (USA resident) Leather&Lace reader! woohoo! just in time for Christmas! you can buy yourself a nice little outfit to wear to your family party. these dresses are oh-so-pretty, so let's drink white wine instead of red while we're wearing one, okay?

i am especially in love with this pink peplum number--add some oxblood pumps omg, it would be the most perfect girly Christmas ensemble:

i am also completely obsessed with this purple swimsuit. i know, i know, it's winter. BUT i am signing up Miss Gemcake for swimming lessons in March and need a sassy little one-piece that is child-proof! i don't want my goodies to be popping out all over the place.

alright, enough of me adding 100 things to my online shopping cart. here's how to enter!

1. like Shabby Apple on facebook by CLICKING HERE

2. comment on this post what YOU would buy with a $50 gift card, should you win. don't forget to include your email address so i can contact you!

3. like good ol' Leather&Lace on facebook if you haven't already by CLICKING HERE

i will choose the winner using a random number generator next thursday, december 20, and announce it on my blog! best of luck to you, good sirs.

Merry Christmas fools. and thanks so so much to Shabby Apple for hosting this amazing giveaway!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

what's on L's phone?!


KKiss making almond roca (the real kind, not the cat turd covered in litter kind) from scratch!  

sweet little. 

the classic elf yourself video (featuring me, JJ, Rah and Nebular circa 2008) ornament that yes, Rah and i actually bought from the website.


the best Christmas polish! 

needed both my hands. put them both in there. they were pissed. 

i slept in my sister MM's room when i was home bc her bed is like a HEAVENLY CLOUD. and this is the view of the Christmas lights i had every night. extra points if you spot me in my pajamas and A FATCAT NAMED CHANELLARD!

4 generations pic. take 1. 4th generation being a turd. 

4 generations pic! 4th generation STILL being a turd.  


Gemcake & LJ 

THAT, my dear friends, is an EMPTY CASSEROLE DISH. i made an egg casserole for my mother's group and IT WAS GOBBLED UP! three cheers to that, yo.

Friday, December 7, 2012

baby christmas

baby Christmas shopping is the most fun

1. Green Toys Stacking Cups such cute colors and fun shapes.
2. Jungly Tails book jellycat books are our faves--all the different textures are thrilling for tiny hands.
3. Fleur the Bunny but all the BlaBla dolls are adorrrrrrrable.
4. obviously every child needs a rubber duck!
5. sweet little dump truck (such an oxymoron)
6. Uncle Goose classic blocks so cute. and they come in a plethora of languages! 
7. from the makers of Sophie the Giraffe, comes a weird little alien teething creature named Chan
8. baby Uggs are the cutest Uggs
9. we are recycling the Life Factory bottles she hated by adding the sippy cup lids. totally a great space taker-upper in her stocking.

what are you getting your babies for Christmas? 

Thursday, December 6, 2012

what's inside my brain

1. my friend Rah took this pic on my friend Sand's fancy schmancy camera. i sort of look like i'm sneezing or something--BUT LOOK AT THE BAYYYYBEEEEE. omg. i just love it. Rah sent it in to Baby K'Tan and they posted it on their facebook page. we're famous! hahh.

2. i've been playing rummikub with my mom like every day for the past week. it's so fun. i love that game. i'm really good at kicking her ass.

3. Re: garbage day: you know when you unintentionally wait until the next day--or even *GASP* two days later to take your cans in? it's the worst. and you sort of shuffle out sheepishly with your head down, grab the cans and run back to your house quickly so as not to catch a glimpse of disdain from your neighbor. because there is ALWAYS A NEIGHBOR WATCHING when you're doing the Garbage Can Walk of Shame. and then the week when you actually take your cans in just as the garbage truck is driving away, you puff your chest out all proud, walk with your snooty little nose in the air and LAH-TEE-DAH grab your cans with gusto and smile a very boastful smile so ALL YOUR NEIGHBORS CAN SEE YOU and of COURSE no one is around to show off for. just terrible luck. and since you were right on time this week, you become all judgy and do a *tsk*tsk* to the guy two doors down for leaving his cans out past dark. has this happened to you? yes? AMIRIGHT?!

4. my friend Moon and i bought each other THE SAME EXACT gift for Christmas. isn't that hilarious?! we both knew we'd just adore the Band of Outsiders Best Friends hats from the Target + Neiman Marcus collaboration.

5. Chanel slept in my bed all night. ALL NIGHT! she misses me. we snuggled and snuggled. it was so romantic. and this morning i woke up to her pouncing on my arm. why, you ask? BECAUSE SHE WAS TRYING TO CATCH A BUG. A BUG. that was crawling ON MY ARM while i was INSIDE MY BED. i jolted out of the sheets with a screech and ran out of the room. and now Chanel is ignoring me because she's mad that i scared her. such a step backwards in our relationship.

6. i'm really glad i don't live in a nudist colony. i just really like clothes.

7. marijuana is legal in Washington. starting today. crazy. Snoop Dogg is totally moving to the evergreen state now. so here is an anecdote: one time i went to a party in college wearing my most favorite scarf in the whole entire world that was cream colored and like 3 miles long and so cool (but tragically fell out of my purse in the Spokane Valley mall and i never saw it again) and when i got home, my friend Moon was like "wait, L. what is that?" and i was like "WHAT???" and she pulled a giant bud of weed from my scarf. and we laughed for days. because my scarf had accidentally stolen like $50 worth of marijuana from someone. hahahahahhahahahahahaha

8. where the mother F is the snow?!

9. Essie's bordeaux is THE best color for the season. i'm obsessed. it's a nice, rich blood-red. gorgeous. i even painted my Grandma's nails that color and plan on doing my Mom's toenails tonight.

10. my brother-in-law Chase introduced me to this website: AHHHH! an aquarium coffee table. MAGIC WAND TV REMOTE! wristwatch post-it notes. A GOD DAMN FLYING DOLPHIN POWER BOAT YOU GUYS! I CANNOT EVEN HANDLE. i want everything.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

what's on L's phone?!

playing in her new toy wearing her new santa jammies, both from Nannie & Bear. 

my parents have the creepiest clown ornament. Gems doesn't seem to think he's scary. 

i sent JJ this pic and he was all "judging by your pants, it's been a relaxing day." hahahahaa 

snugglepups Cleo & Lola 

my Dad loves nothing more than Christmas lights. this is my parents Christmas light display. except that since i took this picture, about 4,000 new lights have been put up. you practically need sunglasses while coming down their driveway.  

i sent this to JJ and he said "that's my favorite sweater of hers. when she smiles her fat little face inside it." hahahaa we got that sweater when she was still a mystery little JF. 

my sister and i were playing hide the pickle. and this is where i found it. she hid it inside an angel's butt. first of all, how rude! secondly, i told her that was totally cheating. TOTALLY. you cannot hide the pickle inside of another ornament. she said there are no rules in the pickle game. WHO IS RIGHT?! 

Cleo fell asleep like this in the car. looks totally comfy. 

Rah and Nebular already sent us our Christmas presents, and we *accidentally on purpose* opened them early. Cleo got a green dog chew toy and Gemma got some books. only Gemma wanted the green dog too. so they sat there fighting over it. hahahahhahaa thanks Rah & Nebular! 

FaceTiming with Daddy while he's away for work.

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