will you marry me?

dress: Wet Seal, shoes: Marshall's

i ate a cheese stick this morning that had an expiration date of may 20. am i going to die?

i feel bad for Gemma during her first feeding of the day before i've put on any deodorant. like, how gross to have your nostrils in such close proximity to a smelly armpit?! 

once upon a time, Wet Seal had the most wonderful section of clothes copied straight from the BCBG runway. and it was glorious. this is one of those dresses. 

this is also a shot of me after i got too close to that tree which had in it, a dog-eating spider the size of Uranus (not to be confused with your anus) that was literally going to bite my finger off. this photo captures my genuine fear as well as my fat looking arm. 

and the most wonderful thing about this dress is that JJ proposed to me in it. (!!!!) in Rovinj, Croatia in June of 2008.

look at his cute fluffy head. and ohhhh that a-line Victoria Beckham haircut. and my tiny boobies. how i miss those tiny boobies! 

i wore it like 78 times since it was the only dress in my backpack, so by the time i got home, i was sick to death of it. but this one is not up for discussion. it's being kept. forever and ever and ever because it's special.

 hahahhh i'm so annoyed. this is pre-engagement, and i was grumpy because i was starving.

apparently i wasn't too sick of the dress though...because i also wore it to KitKat's bridal shower that i hosted that same summer:

LJ, KitKat, me, Sam. ah, so young.

what's on L's phone?!

munchin' on Sophie. 

KKiss, me & Gemma, KitKat, LJ

keepin' it real.

i love that Mr. Hansen 

 

yesterday. when Gem wouldn't let me put her down. also, check out my ultra-sexy nursing bra. 

LJ's husband Chria Milker (that's whay JJ accidentally put him as in his phone hahahaha) & JJ

WTF kind of creature dug this hole in my backyard?? 

snoozing. 

 LJ got this shot of Gemsie Bear and me.

 Cleo overseeing JJ's yard work.

 #theseptemberissue

JJ's response when i sent him that picture. 

omg. those. sunglasses. 

i cooked! 

hey look! look, there's my boob! Gemma really does like the nursing necklace i got for her. i also wear it when i'm carrying her around in the K'tan, and i hang it from her bouncy chair too. 

 Gemma & Auntie KitKat finally meet! thanks for coming to visit us you crazy redhead!

belly. out. 

playing draw something with KitKat, and i drew this for "bathrobe." after i finished, i realized that it looks disturbingly close to me in the morning.

sassy

                

 

dress: gifted, belr: F21, shoes: Jessica Simpson

this dress makes me wanna party. i want to have some sangria and dance dirty with a Spaniard. ¡Olé! JJ's Mom bought it for me for Christmas last year, and clearly it brings out the sassy in me.

JJ grabbed his loafers off the over-the-door shoe rack this morning at the same time i was reaching for the cereal (yes, the shoes are neighbors with the pantry. we make full use of our tiny space), and as a result, one of his running shoes fell off and literally kicked me in the face before knocking the full mug of coffee out of my hands. i was an angry beaver. (hey...rmbr that show? i loved that show).

yesterday i felt like wearing my new boots. only Gemster and i had nowhere to go. so i just wore the boots around my house with underwear and a sweatshirt. G was a cantankerous little monster from dawn until dusk so i literally got nothing done aside from walking outside to get the mail.

here's to hoping i don't forget about a load of laundry that has been in the washer for 12+ hours like i did yesterday.

*also, blogger's poll widget isn't working. that's why my question of the week has been gone for a few weeks. i'll keep trying until it starts working again. but hey! Look! LOLcat is back.*

berry man

dress: F21, sandals: Dolce Vita

my very first ever friend KitKat came all the way from Pennsylvania to meet Gemma this last weekend!  she, KKiss, LJ and i spent all day saturday together (we missed ya Sam!), talking, laughing, eating and drinking peach bellinis. Gem was real cranky and only wanted to be held by me, but the girls got in a little snuggle time before each meltdown. and true to form, we planned on going out to dinner, but chose to stay in sweats and get Thai takeout instead.

on sunday as JJ was doing yard work and i was doing laundry watching the Kardashians, he discovered wild blackberry bushes all along the side of our house which is 100% thrilling because blackberries are the best ever! this morning i found a nice little pile of them on the coffee table for me. he is so thoughtful, that berry man of mine. eating them makes me feel real old fashioned, like we are living off the land or something.

nothing is more annoying to me than giant boogers in Gemma's nose. nothing pisses off Gemma more than when her mom picks her nose. it's one of those lose-lose situations.

i bought this dress online at a really smelly little internet cafe in Budapest and had it sent to my parents' house because i wanted to have something new to wear when i got home from Europe.

my precious gem

i was asked about G's first photo shoot, so here it is!

5 day old Gemma. 

those cheeeeeks! 

i'll never forget how soft and plump those cheeks were.

one million thanks to my wonderfully talented friend Sandi.

you can see more images from our session on her photography blog.

little bunnies

dress: Erin Featherston for Target, heels: Kelsi Dagger, sunglasses: Karen Walker

yesterday Gemsicle and i brought JJ a treat at work:

yes, a "treat" in JJ's book is Trident and sliced pineapple. after we surprised him, we headed to target. as i was in the bandaid aisle to replenish JJ's nipple protection stash (side note: he left his USED nipple bandaids on the KITCHEN COUNTER this morning and i accidentally touched one and it stuck to my finger and i jumped around frantically screaming "EW! EW! EWWWWW!" and shaking my hand and it wouldn't come off and i almost vommed), i kept feeling a loose hair tickling my arm. i tried brushing it away, but it was still tickling me. then a woman came up to me and said, "hang on. stop. let me just..." and you guys SHE PULLED A SPIDER OFF OF ME. LITERALLY A REAL, LIVE SPIDER. then she gently set it on the ground. inside. at target. i thanked her profusely for saving my life and she said, "well, spiders are everywhere," in a hippie-like thoughtful way, which suggested she wanted the spider to live its life in the target. i waited until she swayed her way over to the next aisle before crushing that MFer into the ground with my foot. 

you guys. this dress has bunnies on it. bunnies. 

in college, i begged and begged and begged my Mom to buy me this bunny dress. she finally did. what a brat i am. what a nice mom my Mom is. 

coincidentally, just last month, i begged and begged and begged my sister M to buy me this bunny phone case for me for my birthday. she finally did. what a brat i am. what a nice sister M is.

nice mullet

dress: Free People, boots: Miz Mooz

why does my hair look so mullety in the first pic? and btw i'm mid-twirl in the second pic. this is a very twirly dress.

we rearranged our bedroom yesterday to create a more open space so we can all play together on the floor. it's pretty cool, and i also found my long lost slippers. so that's great. 

ohhhh, naked Harry. 

my cousin sent me this hilarious slideshow and i about died dead at the picture of the Orbitz. WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT DRINK?! it was the best ever.

i bought this dress to wear to one of my 21st birthday parties. this one was at Big Al's Country Barn (i literally cannot wear this dress without cowboy boots):

 me & Moon

bull ridin' 

 right before i took a double shot of warm whiskey and threw it up on my friend's new shoes.

heh, heh, heh. that was a great night.

anyway, unfortunately for me, a really hot girl whom All The Boys loved at Gonzaga had this same dress. so i never wore this one again until after college ended. 

the chaos

dress: Ross, necklace: Nordstrom Rack, shoes: JC Penney, sunglasses: Karen Walker

last night we had LJ and her husband over for dinner and i cooked! (well, i prepared. JJ cooked) and Precious Gem cried and cried and cried and refused to eat. but as soon as our guests left, she settled down and nursed in silence and went right to bed. it's like she was saying "I WANT YOU TO MYSELF MOMMMM!" 

omg you guys. i (and by "i," i clearly mean my Mom) sewed Gemma some burp rags! my friend Kel made us some for the baby shower, and i'm obsessed with them. and we go through them so fast! so when i was home, i asked my Mom if we could make some too. i cut (badly and unevenly) and she sewed. and i learned that sewing is basically just a bunch of math, which i'm terrible at. i definitely wasted fabric by slicing folds when i shouldn't have. 

speaking of spit-up, Gemma vommed right on Cleo's face this morning. i mean quite literally ON. HER. FACE. Cleo was positively delighted. she's been licking her own nose for like 20 minutes now. she loves nothing more than regurgitated breast milk. when G spits up on the floor, Cleo runs and licks it up before i can even clean it up, which is totally fine by me. now that you know the truth, who wants to walk around barefoot at my house?

and now i've rattled on about spit-up for two paragraphs. Good Lord.

JJ has the day off today! huzzzzzzah! so i'm off to hang out with my perfect little family (picture this: Gemma shrieking for godonlyknowswhat, JJ scream-singing rockabye baby to her, Cleo barking for attention, me with greasyass hair, a zit with its own heartbeat and the Absolute Worst Morning Breath Ever In Life selfishly blogging away while the chaos continues around me). 

also, i bought this dress at Ross in like 2010 because it reminded me of a kaleidoscope. also, for the record, i spelled kaleidoscope right on the first try. 5,000 points for Gryffindor. because obviously that's the house i'd be in. 

project no pants

dress: Matix, hoodie: random store in Prague, Vans

i'm obsessed with Cleo in the first pic, "brb, i'm off to save the world."

so i have a new project:

my friend LJ came over the other night to borrow a dress for a wedding. we opened the closet solely dedicated to my dresses and LJ about pooped herself. she asked me to just pick ones that would work for her. her butterfly-loving self ended up choosing a frock printed with the winged beauties. 

anyway, the point is that it's stupidly ridiculous how many dresses i have. it got me thinking that it's time to clean up my dress closet. but where do i begin? so i counted them. and i have upwards of 100. ONE HUNDRED DRESSES YOU GUYS. that's dumb. some of them are old old old, some of them are newer, some of them have never been worn. 

so i have challenged myself to actually wear them. i will call this project no pants. it's quite simple really. basically i will wear ALL the dresses. and if i can't figure out how to make them look cute, if i decide i don't really like them, or if--GOD FORBID--they no longer fit, then i will say goodbye to them. and i will narcissistically document them on this here blog of mine! you can even vote if you'd like. but if you say "OMG L! NO, THAT IS HIDEOUS, GET RID OF IT!" and i like it, i won't listen to you and i'll keep it anyway. but before i make my final decisions, i will reminisce about the dresses. for instance, i bought this dress in the summer of 2008 because i thought JJ would like it. and i was right. he did. i think he liked it because it's a wee bit short. it's so soft and comfy AND IT HAS POCKETS! i'm on the fence with this one. aye yi yi. do you see why i have so many dresses? i cannot part with them! each one has a story. #amiahoarder?

what's on L's phone?!

would you just LOOK at these two? BFFs. 

our family pictures came in the mail! special thanks to my very talented friend San for capturing us perfectly!

little baby 

loungin' tough 

school shopping (can i go back to school plz? all i ever wanted was to shop at Abercrombie and get a new hot pink Jansport. OMG also, Nannie bought Gem her Halloween costume during this shopping trip. you. will. DIE. when you see it) followed by subway (i ate an entire footlong and two bags of chips FYI) in the park with cousins! (pictured: Holly & Janie & me)

just chillin' 

snowcones in the park (cousins Stoney, Noni & Ruthie)

this picture confirms that i need to own a brush. me & Noni with our Starbucks.

we sent this to JJ on our way to the shopping trip. am i cross-eyed? 

Bear trying desperately to get Gemma to calm down. all she wanted was me. i love that she loves me best. i am literally her favorite person. 

Cleopatra snuggling up after a rough day filled with seizures and puking (all over sister CA's lap hahahahahahhh). poor little lemon pup.