jeans: Abercrombie, cardigan/belt: Gap, heels: BCBG
see there? look at the size of my chest with those rufffffffles. all puffy like a male bird showing off.
yesterday i let Cleo out in the backyard to do her Morning Business and went to get Gem down for her nap. about a half hour went by and obviously i forgot about the dog because that's what happens when you have a child. you forget about the dog, who becomes a second-rate citizen in your house.
i poked my head out the back door and said "BAYYY-CONS?!" (just....this is the word JJ trained her to get excited about when he gives her doggie bacon treats. i'll explain this another time. i will also include a recording. because Cleo has her own language dialect we use with her). anyway, all i heard was her incessant barking outside. and so i ran to the fence. BLAST! she had escaped from our yard to the neighbors' and was harassing the god damned chickens again. "sonofabitch Cleo, you suck," is what i muttered under my breath. and then i noticed my man neighbor who appeared out of nowhere and was doing yardwork--who looked up at me in surprise. and so i walked over to him and said "oh, i uh...i'msosorryaboutcleo. she's so naughty." he said it was no problem blah-blah-blah and then we had a 10 minute conversation about neighborly things like how hard it is to dig up overgrown bamboo and gosh! that dog two doors down is a real terror, and wouldn't it be nice if that sun would come out so our compost would do compost-y things? (i don't even have compost. i just pretended like i knew what i was talking about). the boring tête-à-tête came to a close, and so i tipped my imaginary hat, bid him adieu, grabbed Cleo and went back inside. then i walked past the mirror and stopped dead in my tracks. and shouted at my reflection, OH COME ONNNNNNNNNNNNN L! WHAT IN THE NAME OF HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!?!?!"
because this is what i saw:
those are my breast pads.
you guys. i had a 10-MINUTE CONVERSATION WITH MY MAN NEIGHBOR with my BREAST PADS. HANGING. OUT.