Wednesday, January 30, 2013

coolmom

we crazy. 
and can i get a HELL YEAH for the "sierra" filter on IG for magically turning ping-pong-sized red zits into teeny tiny dots?! GOD DAMN, i love technology.


my friend Moon found this article. and she said #3 reminded her so much of me.

and so i read it.

#3 says:

Having kids isn’t (always) the end of the world.


While there are always going to be the friends who fall off the face of the planet in a jumble of sanctimonious Facebook comments over how much more fulfilled her life is now that she’s a mother, that is far from being the case for all who spawn. Outside of the ones whose lives become a blur of ultrasound photos and breast pumps, there are going to be many cool moms who are still totally interesting and who have just happened to push another person out of their body recently. And though it is undoubtedly terrifying the first time you see someone you used to hold beer bongs for announce that they’re bringing another human being into the world, you soon realize that it doesn’t always signal the death of a friendship.

i felt really special that it touched Moon so much. and she's right. i still am totally interesting! i still am cool! 

and so i got to thinking...

for some reason, today's women in their 20s are expected to follow a new social norm that requires keeping one's baby fever under wraps. having babies has festered this weird stigma that a woman is giving up. she is a woman who doesn't care about a career. she doesn't want to be successful. she is a piss-poor feminist. she is trading in her brain for a lifetime of housewivery. she is judged by her other 20-something friends, and she should be ashamed for admitting she wants a baby. 

that's so stupid. 

just like the millions of women before us, we simply want to join the motherhood club. creating a miniature human is a god damned miracle. A MIRACLE YOU GUYS. even more (and i comment about this on a daily basis), is the fact that we women have the capability to singlehandedly sustain the life of our babies through our boobs. OUR. BOOBS. MAKE. FOOD. the best food, in fact, formulated specifically for what our baby needs. it still blows my mind. she came from me. i love my husband so much that we made and brought baby into the world (!!!). this happens to people everywhere, everyday, yes i know. but it's no less incredible. it really is something! there is nothing like staring into the eyes of your baby after she screams in your face for taking her rice cracker away and saying to yourself "GOOD GOD, this child is me. this child is SOOOO ME! holyshit." and the first time that happens will kick a woman in the ass. taking a moment to sit back and really appreciate and process that feeling is a monumental life experience that can only be obtained by becoming a mom. and i know it's not for everybody, but for those of you who are craving a baby deep within the depths of your loins, just say it! open up dialogue about it. with your friends. with your sisters. with your mom. (also you should probably discuss it with your partner). just stop being silent about it. it's okay to want a baby. even though you'll replace drinking AMFs and riding mechanical bulls with 2 a.m. feedings and saying things like "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET POOP ALL THE WAY UP THE BACK OF YOUR NECK?!" you'll still be you. you'll still be cool. 

11 comments:

  1. WORD. i get a bug up my butt when people imply that i'm not a feminist because i married young and stay home with my boy. it's a CHOICE i made. if i did it because my husband or my religion expected it of me, that's different. but *i* wanted this more than anything, so my husband and i have done what it takes to make that dream happen. and that rules, in my feminist opinion.

    also you're like the coolest mom i know, hands down.

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  2. I LOVE this! Yay for cool moms!

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  3. "I'm not a regular mom, I'm a *cool* mom."

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  4. agreed. my bff and i were JUST talking about this the other day, our only example of a mom was one of our friends and she turned into a stick in the mud so I was DEATHLY afraid that I would be boring too...but turns out I'm not, you still can be cool! thanks for sharing the article...also you are def the coolest mom I know! (well not in person but I feel like I know you :) )

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  5. Preach sister. Couldn't have said it better myself. Love you!

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  6. Best compliment a mom can get from a "non-baby-having" friend

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  7. LOVE this! all my friends are having babies lately, it's baby season apparently. my bff and i both have baby fever and may have made a pregnancy pact (it's okay, we're both 29 not 16).. but we still want to be cool when we have kids! we talk about that all the time!

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