jeans: J Brand, chambray: H&M, hoodie: Alternative Earth, Uggs
sometimes. sometimes i just hate the feeling that the success of my days is measured by how clean the house is. most days i'm all "YES I WILL ENJOY THIS GLASS OF WINE. GEMMA IS ALIVE. THAT'S WHAT I DID TODAY. HIGH FIVE, SELF." but some days it's like "OHMYGOD. no seriously. it's 5 p.m. the house looks like maybe a pack of rabid hogs lives in it, i'm still wearing my pajamas, and i ate stale tortilla chips for lunch, wtf." this most wonderful job in the world of staying home and raising my own baby comes with a bit of a struggle between YES I LOVE THIS I AM SO LUCKY and GOD DAMMIT I JUST WANT TO PUT ON A PENCIL SKIRT, GO TO WORK, USE MY COLLEGE DEGREE, TYPE ON A COMPUTER AND SHOOT THE SHIT WITH ADULTS IN THE BREAK ROOM.
and this last weekend my sister M came to Seattle and we went to the mall and she bought all sorts of fun and wonderful things. because she can. because she is childless and part of a two-income household. she works hard (as a Special Education teacher) for her money, and so sometimes she gets to spend it on a new pair of jeans and a bunch of fancy things from lululemon. even though all i get to buy is a salad at Nordstrom Cafe. all i get to do is try on the jacket that i have been wanting really really really badly for like, ever, only to be forced to hang it back up and leave the store with my head hanging sadly. because i live in a one-income household and i just don't have the luxury of buying whatever i want, when i want it. OOOOH POOOR OLD L. SOOOO SAD. NEVER GETS ANYTHING. WAHHHH.
it may seem a bit silly, but really though, sometimes it's hard. i am so grateful that i am able to stay home with my little favorite, and i would absolutely die if i had to leave her everyday all day to go to work (and don't even get me started on the mothers who pump at work. i mean, BRAVO TO YOU! YOU ARE AMAZING! I COULD NOT DO IT). but, at the same time, i am so much more than a clean house. and i know that. it's just sometimes i have to remind myself. and if we didn't have Gemma, i would be working hard and earning money and buying that damn jacket and socializing with people my own age. but that's just it. i have a Gemma instead. and she's better than a jacket. and is more fun to hang out with than adults.
you know, it's a really big deal to be a stay at home mom. and it's also a really big deal to be a working mom. it's a really big deal to be a mom period.
to all the momz: good. job. we work hard to create and raise these miniature humans. we rock.
if you haven't already, enter the Ratbone Skinny giveaway!