Friday, April 5, 2013

what's inside my brain

1. just take a look at that hot mess. all of our shit everywhere. and aren't i just the meanest for wiping Gem's face when she didn't want it to be wiped? my friend Sand took this on Wednesday. we went for a walk around Greenlake, and the sun was out and we were all so happy! then we went and had mexican food. it was delicious. Gemma ate the entirety of my rice and beans and her next diaper was frightful.

2. ohmygod you guys. so i'm so bad at taking pictures with my real camera. i just use my phone. it always bothers me that i can't get them printed at a very good quality, but NOT ANYMOREEEEE. because i found printstagram. you literally log into your instagram account and pick all the pictures you want printed. you can do them in cute little books like i did, just regular prints, even a calendar--there are such cool options. and my books came today (and also the fedex man saw my nipple. forgot to clip myself back into the ol' nursing tank) packaged all cute and the pictures are so perfect i could die. i'm so completely 100% obsessed. because now we have all of our favorite Gemma moments in print forever and ever:

3. JJ's bff works for this cool jewelry company called Harper Belle (the bracelets are my favorite!) who makes boho chic pieces that are SO SoCal. gorgeous. anyway, they have this inspirational video and it just warms my heart. in this profit hungry world, it's refreshing to see a company who wants to do some good. so go buy something and get some kids their vitamins!

4. ARRESTED DEVELOPMENTTTTTTTTTTTT EEEEEEE! i'm so happy there will be more! obviously Gob is my favorite. i'm so excited i just might have to get my own Netflix again instead of signing into my mom and dad's account.

5. i'm growing my hair out again. the only reason i really cut it is because after Gemma made all my hair fell out, the regrowth was making me look like i had a mullet. all fluff on top with little long wisps coming out the bottom. it was so unattractive. anyway, so my hair is now at the point where i look like a Hanson Brother if i don't curl it. mmbop.

6. well, i got my period back. i went a whole year and half without it and now it's back and i hate it and omg aren't tampons the worst? no, no they're not. because pads are worse than tampons. but srsly. i'm SO over having a period. i got quite used to not dealing with it. i'm all moody and crampy and i am just the cliche of PMS in saying that all i want to do is eat chocolate. bulghhhhh

7. during a playdate with my friend and her son last week, Gemma crawled over to the little boy and smacked him on the head. then she sat back and watched him cry. OHMYGOD. predator. she's a little bit mean.

8. today Little G and i went to Big G's house where she made us fancy homemade macaroni WITH THE CRUST ON TOP with tomato soup and last time she ate a meal at my house it was egg salad on a hamburger bun. Big G > me.

9. i don't know what is wrong with me that i would actually choose to start a puzzle with my ADD husband. we went to Fred Meyer and i really wanted this 500-piece Donald Duck one that was so cool, but JJ insisted that we buy 1,000 pieces of Leonardo da Vinci's The Last Supper, which is practically entirely black and white and brown except for Jesus' outfit, which is red. JJ literally had one job: sort straight-edge and non-straight-edge pieces. which he failed at. because i was missing half the straight-edge pieces that i needed, so i had to go back and sort them again. after his shoddy attempt at sorting (which lasted a whole 8 minutes), he quit. and now i am here working my ass off on this puzzle that i never even wanted. ISN'T THAT SO ANNOYING?!

10. isn't it so gross when your dog drags its butthole across your floors?? omg. like it's just so disgusting. but it's also hilarious at the same time. i need to pop Cleo's anal glands. i know you wanted to know that.


  1. That is entirely disgusting!!! The dog I mean, and I HATE when mine does it! But I can damn sure tell you I ain't looking to see why!! LOL Does that make me a bad dog mommie!! Anyway, just thought I would share a little gem I found recently. They're called menstrual cups. One brand is the Diva Cup, and the other popular one is the Lunette. Google them! I bought the Diva, messed around with it and it's amazing! Just might change the way you feel about your period. Here's a post about a bunch of diff. ones and common questions we would ask.

    By the way....LOVE your blog, you're hilarious!

  2. Let me know if you try the Diva cup like the comment above...I have a friend that just posted about how much she loves it, too! I am still period-less (going on almost 2 years, what WHAAAAT!) but I'm considering giving it a whirl once the demon returns to me again.

    I wish we lived close and could have AD parties because I am so friggin excited I might pee. And also Gatsby, I saw a trailer yesterday and got all jittery excited.

    I need to cut my hair because it's so darn thin and I don't want to but it's becoming necessary. So there's that.

  3. I feel you on the hair woes, girl. I have curly hair and my new hairdresser cut the front layers WAY too short. So now I look like a Duggar sister, from that family with 19 children who live on a compound.


    Hanson brother might be worse though, you win.

  4. I chopped my hair too because it got so thin after having C...I feel you on the Hanson thing!

  5. Predator---ahahahah! Oh Gemmie.

    I love that pic. totally us. total hot mess. (reason 100 we're dining in Mexican restaurants for the next 5 years.)


  6. "Well, I got my period back." Bahahahahahahahahahaha!

  7. bahahhaha you actually will pop cleo's anal glands? i refuse to do it on my silky terrier (gia) because i am afraid that i will vomit everywhere and never be able to snuggle her again. you are a brave, brave woman L!!!!

  8. Hahaha, my husband did a "how to" speech in college on 'expressing your dogs anal glands'. he even had a transparency made of a pic of dogs butthole. hahaha


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