Thursday, April 25, 2013


i feel bad for zoo animals. all cooped up where they don't belong. penguins and polar bears in San Diego; giraffes and elephants in Seattle. that shit ain't right, yo. so i don't go to zoos.

but then i had myself a baby and all of a sudden it was all OMG GEMMA NEEDS TO GO TO THE ZOO AND SEE ALL THE ANIMALS IN REAL LIFE! SHE LOVES ANIMALS! and so i set aside my zoo activist hat (metaphorical hat), put on my Indiana Jones adventure hat (real hat), and scream sang Raffi's song Going to the Zoo (MOMMY'S TAKIN' US TO THE ZOO TOMORROW, THE ZOO TOMORROW, THE ZOO TOMORROW, MOMMY'S TAKIN' US TO THE ZOO TOMORROW, WE CAN STAY ALL DAY! WE'RE GOIN' TO THE ZOO ZOO ZOO, HOW ABOUT YOU YOU YOU, YOU CAN COME TOO TOO TOO, WE'RE GOIN' TO THE ZOO ZOO ZOO!) i apologize. that went on far too long. it's just that once i start that song, i can't help but finish the first chorus. which is why JJ wanted to punch me in the face the night before we went to the zoo. Anyway, so, like every other parent on the planet, i took my child on her first trip to the zoo.

we met up with Sand and her sweet little baby. and ohmygod. the zoo was a zoo. just annoying ass little kids running rampant everywhere (and i am SO GLAD that Gemsie Bear isn't old enough yet to stomp her foot and demand a sea otter stuffed animal). G and i were 45 minutes late. unacceptable! but really it wasn't our fault. the parking payment machine was BROKEN and we had to wait in line for so long, and i got annoyed because my hat had already started giving me a headache and we hadn't even entered the zoo, but i was all "too bad, self. can't take it off now because you will look like a total dipshit with hat hair all day." so i kept it on. then we finally got into the zoo and met up with our gal pals and went about our day.

we went to the flamingos and Gemma quacked at them. meh, close enough. and then we happened upon a bird show. wherein which i almost got my head taken off by a hawk. it literally clipped my cheek with its wing. i almost crapped myself! then we found a cozy spot near the giraffes for some nursing and some talking and some lunch and some ladyfriend love. such cute little girls:

then we made a stop at the so-called "Family Farm," where this horndog couldn't keep it in his pants:

but seriously. look at the size of that guy's dong! omg!

after a long day of animal gazing and gabbing, the moms were pooped. so we said our goodbyes and parted ways. and 15 minutes later we ran into each other in the parking lot. we parked about 10 spots from each other. and both walked all the way around opposite ends of the zoo alone. i mean. comeonnnnnnnn idiots. we laughed maniacally at one another in the parking lot and said our real goodbyes.

twinsies! i love my little BFF

it was a lovely day at the zoo, even though deep down i wanted to set them all free. but when you let all the animals out in real life, it isn't like the children's book Goodnight Gorilla. when you let animals out in real life, it's like Jumanji.


  1. are you kidding me with that last pic?! ADORBS

  2. I actually thought that about zoos as well, until I read Life of Pi and the way animals in zoos are described. I mean, I don't think it's awesome, but it made me feel less bad about their situation. So, yeah, that's it.

    Did your mom get out of Boston all right? Boston/Cambridge was a total shit show last week. And, I learned I live and work about two blocks away from where the bombers lived. Awesome.

  3. I love your shirt, where did you et it? I have a hard time with zoos because I want the animals to be free, but I also really love zoos where I can see them!

  4. omg. that last picture needs to be in a magazine!! or framed or both!

  5. I forgot about the crazy-ass hawk clipping us...seriously, poop in the pants. Total Jumanji. You're so right. Fabulous times as always. xoxo.

  6. Just spotted your blog and loving it. I'm a washington mommy/blogger as well. So excited to be your newest follower :-)


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