Wednesday, May 22, 2013

mustache

Cleo looks so Spanish with a mustache, doesn't she?

ALSO, while we're on the topic of mustaches, i had a reader send me a sample of Jamberry Nails (THANKS JESSIKA) and they are SO COOL. look at those little mustaches lookin' all dapper and shit. 



 we had a 5-baby playdate (playdate should be one word. i'm ignoring the red underline on my computer screen that says otherwise) last week that was so much fun and i was wearing my mustache shirt. i waited all day to say the line, "we'd love to stay longer, but really we must-ache." (must-dash. mustache. get it?) i always find just the right moment to say that awkward line whilst wearing that shirt but i forgot this time. and i was really pissed about the missed opportunity.

but that is not the mustache story of the day, though. the mustache story of the day here is that JJ is growing a hockey playoff mustache. like, no. why is it that men will find any opportunity to grow a mustache? ("the Kings won't win without my playoff mustache" and "this is my Christmas mustache for the baby Jesus" and "i'm growing this mustache to stop world hunger. ghoddd. don't be such a bitch") i seriously don't get it. WHAT IS THE DEALLLLLL GUYS?! i think it's a way for them to show each other up. like "oh hey man, nice stache. but really, it's not nearly as impressive as mine. see how mine grows in real thick through the outer corners of my lip? yours is pretty good though. not like Rob's. Rob is just embarrassing himself with that pathetic pre-pubescent caterpillar he has on his face." i think the mustache growing thing is the male equivalent to Mean Girls.

but anyway, JJ is all proud as a peacock with his playoff mustache and unfortunately i had to crush all of his hopes and dreams. because we had a last-minute opportunity to have a family photo shoot with a friend i met online (yes! a friend on the worldwide web! i love technology!) who is literally as gorgeous as an angel. and i'm not even kidding. she looks like an angel. the photo shoot happened to be at 7 p.m. which is precisely the time when the Kings had a playoff game. so JJ was being a real cranky brat about the photos. lucky for him, the angelic photographer (whom i love. love love love love LOVE. she is the tits. hilarious and fun and omg her son is beyond adorable. we drank stella beer at 2 p.m. AND she introduced me to a pear/gorgonzola pizza that was truly life-changing) spent two years living in hockey-nation CANADA and also happens to be married to a hockey man herself. the shoot was easy and breezy and super fast. but anyway, so JJ truly thought that he was going to fly under the radar with a mustache in family photos. just please. GET OUT OF HERE JJ. like, no. it's not 1973. you will not have a mustache in family photos, you fool. i would literally take family photos without him before i would let a mustache ruin the pictures.

and so FINALLY he reluctantly shaved it. i practically heard him whimpering in the bathroom as he was removing the incriminating facial hair.

and do you want to know something??

the Kings won. OHMYGOD YOU GUYS. THEY WON! WITHOUT THE MUSTACHE! IT'S A MIRACLE! GOD BLESS US, EVERYONE!

2 comments:

  1. I think guys just like the chance to look like creeps. Seriously, when Joe did Movember last year, he just loved how terrible he looked. And my dad said he looked like he was growing a porn mustache, which was by far the best part!

    I can't wait to see the family pictures. Also, can't wait to see you all... next weekend! Yay!

    ReplyDelete

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