Wednesday, June 5, 2013

shit happens

Gemma had her one-year well child exam and i had my annual exam on the same day (note: i thought annual exams/pap smears were as uncomfortable as it gets. but i was wrong. it is so much worse to have an annual exam WHILE there is a wiggly child sitting on your stomach). on the way there Gemstar fell asleep in the car. 

so i had to wake her up, which made her cranky until she saw the fish in the pediatrician waiting room. 

she was bouncing off the walls and being such a wild and crazed baboon in the exam room. she was repeatedly smacking a monkey on the plastic chair. when her doctor walked in she said, "it sounds like a one-year-old in here!"

and while we waited for the nurse to come back with her vaccinations, she emptied the diaper bag

when we got home i made Miss G a picnic lunch to enjoy outside. i put everything in a muffin tin. i think i saw this on Pinterest or some shit. i wanted to give her a variety of things to snack on, but i hate when all my foods touch, so i try to extend the same courtesy to her.

an outdoor picnic in her bikini! she loved it. and so did i. such a yummy and fun little lunch. and then Cleo threw up grass so i lost my appetite. and then when i wasn't paying attention, Cleo came over with grass barf still in her beard and ate all the cheese. COME ON.

when we came inside to get ready for naptime, i stripped off her bathing suit and swim diaper and she escaped away from me and was naked for all of 10 seconds while i grabbed her a clean diaper and clothes. i heard JJ in the other room shout out "OH NOOOOOOOOO! L! LLLLLLLLLLL! L! I JUST STEPPED IN POOP!" i came running out laughing. i said, "WHO POOPED?! CLEO OR GEMMA?!" and he said, "I DON'T KNOW. I THINK IT WAS GEMMA. IT WAS GEMMA." and sure enough, upon closer inspection, we saw peas in the poop. a sure sign that it belonged to Gemma. the other sure sign was the grin on her face. and also the poop smear on her butt. SHE JUST POOPED ON THE FLOOR LIKE IT WAS NO BIG DEAL. i mean everyone has an "oh that time my baby got poop everywhere" story, but they always seemed distant from my own life. i was all, "oh that will never happen to me," until it did. because it always does. at some point in your life, you will have your own child's shit all over the place and wonder how is it that you got to that point.

but really though. hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah JJ stepped in Gemma poo. hahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa


  1. hahahahhahahaha. cleo eating the cheese. poopy gemma! :-D

  2. Ugh, my time was once in the middle of the night (well, 7am, same thing), and Joony rocket-pooped all over me and the wall behind me. It was awful and David kept telling me to "really, Bran, just calm down." When does telling someone to calm down EVER help??!

    1. And I have to come back and tell you that, as I was typing that comment, Joony was whining in his room and I was kind of ignoring him because it was way past his bedtime...I finally peeked in on him and there was poop EVERYWHERE. Down his legs, the sheets, his pyjamas. Disgusting. So yeah...I feel your pain.

    2. OMG, L--you jinxed Brandilyn!

  3. Hey, when you're holding the baby, you don't want to suddenly feel wetness coming through on those newly washed clothes. I found it pretty annoying to have to change the diapers, toss the clothes in the laundry, and wash the baby with the other brands, when I should have been playing with the baby. I think honest diapers did a fine job.


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