Monday, July 29, 2013

IT'S MY PARTY I CAN CRY IF I WANT TO



today is mah birthday. tra la laaaaa! i really love my birthday. best holiday of the year! my friend Mel and her daughter are coming over for a beach day, and JJ is taking me and Gemma out for pizza tonight where i'm going to sport Gemma's birthday crown. it will be a good day!

so today i am 27. here are some things about L at age 27:

EATING:
my friend KKiss made me ridiculously delicious reese's peanut butter cupcakes for my birthday that were literally the BEST things i've ever eaten in my LIFE. i ate two for dinner last night and one for breakfast. and now they're gone. some things never change.

MY BRAIN:
like most people, i know many songs by heart. it's funny how a gal who grew up in the 90s will never forget the lyrics to the Spice Girls' if you wanna be my lover, isn't it? (BY the way. did you catch Mel B on the Today show last week? the bicep tat hanging out when she was discussing how to manage finances was so classy!) but along with useless song lyrics are some important things that i've memorized too: i know i've mentioned it before, but my party trick is that i can recite the Lord's Prayer in Anglo-Saxon Old English. i memorized it in my college Beowulf class, and it has stuck with me ever since. in middle school i also memorized the Preamble to the United States Constitution...i memorized it in song form and i still know it today. and most recently, i memorized Hail Mary. WHAT SHOULD I MEMORIZE NEXT?!

SHOES:
my friends and i had a discussion about shoes last weekend. at this point in my life, there is no room for beautiful high heeled masterpieces. it's all about the comfort!! this has nothing to do with being a mother and everything to do with my old ass self being completely intolerant of any footwear that pinches or rubs.

MY BODY:
my bellybutton is an inch and a half lower from where it used to be. bullshit. absolute bullshit i tell you.

ON FEMININE ITCH:
even if they paid me $500,000, i would never appear in a Vagisil commercial. i'm always curious how these women go about their daily lives without dying of embarrassment. like it's bad enough when i have to actually buy Vagisil, trying my best to avoid eye contact with the 22-year-old boy cashier at Target. i cannot even imagine sitting at a restaurant and having someone come up to me and say, "hey! aren't you the gal from the new Vagisil commercial?!" just please. 

HAPPINESS:
is a day filled with people who love me. and also presents.

A TRUTH:
i'm writing this blog post from the porcelain throne.

ACHIEVEMENTS:
Gemma Julianne.

so there you go.

5 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday. Love the Vagisil Observation. My birthday to is my favorite holiday and literally celebrated all weekend long. Best part of the blog is that you admitted that you were writing it from the thrown. Hahahsjfoiurwruaoihahaha.

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  2. you crack me up. Seriously about the vag commercials. and HAPPPPPPPEEEEE BIRTHDAY!

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  3. Happy Birthday!!! I have high hopes for 27 when I reach it in October! And I totally hear you on shoes ... I'm been cleansing my closet of all things representing my former high heel wearing self.

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  4. Happy birthday girl! Isn't it sad when you get to the point where fancy shoes are a rare occurance. I try to convince myself to wear heels on some weekends, and rarely does it actually happen! I hope it was a great birthday!

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