Friday, November 22, 2013

a happy ending

but seriously you guys, the doors at Purple are so STUPIDLY HEAVY--even Shaq would have a hard time opening them. 

one cold day in November...

my mom handed me a $10 bill to buy her a latte and i pocketed the $7 change and forgot about it. when i realized that i pocketed her change, i felt really bad and i called her and said that i was sorry and that really i wasn't trying to steal her money.

the following week...

i had a nice little HH date at Purple with my friend Allison. some Malbec, some baked Brie, some crab cake sliders, some good conversation. it was delightful. and i got to drive JJ's car to my date and it has bluetooth, so i made 400 phone calls because i don't have that luxury in my car. anyway, i paid for parking ($20. get the F out of here, Bellevue). anyway, this is all to say that after i paid for parking, i left my wallet (and the $20 bill Allison slipped into the cup holder because she felt bad that i was such an idiot and parked in the most expensive garage) in JJ's car that night, unbeknownst to me.

the next morning...

i was gathering my things to take Cleo to her long-overdue haircut, when i finally noticed my wallet was missing. AHHHHHHHHHHHH! i yelled the F word, and then Gemma yelled the F word. it was a fiasco. i mean how stressful is it when you lose your wallet?! beyond. especially since now i have a wallet that i am desperately in love with. i got all hot and panicky and sweaty. partially because i was so upset about my fave wallet, and partially because i just lectured JJ about responsibility because he lost his credit card and i didn't want him to get the satisfaction of being able to do the same to me.

i worked up the courage to admit to JJ that i had lost my wallet. i called him and he said "oh yeah, your wallet. i meant to tell you, it's in my car" ldjfladsjfljkads i mean. just please.

i was thrilled that my wallet wasn't really lost, but OH NO! how was i supposed to pay for Cleo's haircut?!

so i called JJ again and he said he would come home in time to give me my wallet to pay for Cleo's haircut.

disaster averted.

then i got in my car and AHHHHHHH! NO GAS!

it's okay, i'll just go to the gas station and fill up--OH NEVER MIND, I DON'T HAVE MY WALLET. it all was just getting to be goddamn ridiculous.

i stuffed my hands into my pockets in exasperation, and there, nestled in the pocket was the $7 of my Mom's money that i had inadvertently stolen.

isn't it just so great when things have a way of working themselves out?! i mean, it was so embarrassing to ask the gas station man to put $7 on pump 2 (he actually laughed at me!!!) but it was just enough to get me to the groomer's and back. i love a good ol' fashioned happy ending.

the end.

a special thank you to my mom and her $7.


  1. I love how this came full freakin' circle. And I bet Gemma yelling the f word was hilarious after the fact.

  2. If G falls in the gravel and blurts out "F*c$" it will be a replay of her "Sh*t" moment ala August. She's a quick learner--I'm actually kind of impressed with her (is that bad? :)

  3. I remember reading about your love of the "Shopping Is My Cardio" hoodie, but not wanting to spend a ton of money on it. Here is one that I saw from It's only $18.99. I promise I don't work for them or anything, I just saw it in my email and thought of you!


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