Thursday, January 31, 2013

a few of our favorite things




1. Lifefactory teething rings. the best ones. the best. a variety of textures to munch on! Gemma loves them. and so do all other babies who have met Gem. they all go right for these teething rings.
2. American Apparel infant hoodie. matches. everything. little hipster Gemsie. plus i have an adult version so we're twinz. which is totally fun. also i really just like mother/daughter twin pics.
3. Itzy Ritzy Shopping Cart and High Chair Cover. keep dem germs off the baby. we got this for Christmas from Nannie and Bear. it has a nice and sturdy strap to prevent my wiggly skinny child from falling out one of the leg holes.
4. HABA Magica Rattle. this was an i-need-to-order-one-more-thing-from-amazon-to-get-the-free-super-saver-shipping purchase. and it's awesome. she's obsessed with all the colors. and especially loves hitting it against my face. 
5. Prince Lionheart WheelyBug. she's a little bit small for it yet, but OMG SO CUTE. Thanks Grandma and Grandpa! we hold her onto it while we wheel her around the house and she giggles. 
6. Peg Perego car seat. i'm a car seat snob. and car seats are real ugly. i hate that most of them are made in China. this one's made in Italy and is so pretty. my Dad threw a stink about the fact that we asked them for such a "boring practical thing" for Christmas (he wanted to buy G a teddy bear the size of Jupiter *forehead smack*), but a big girl car seat is what we needed! and really, it's the tits. 
7. ERGObaby Organic Baby Carrier: this was a present from JJ's parents. and my back rejoiced. the end. the perfect carrier for older/heavier babies.
8. Boon Squirt Spoon. smartest. invention. ever. and totally reminds me of something the Jetsons would have used. THANK YOU Kel for this brilliant baby shower gift!
9. DOG book. Gemma's #1 fave book of all time. we found it in Costco and it was love at first sight. we read it 800 times while my mom and sister did their grocery shopping, and have read it 8 million times since. (thanks Auntie M!)

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

coolmom

we crazy. 
and can i get a HELL YEAH for the "sierra" filter on IG for magically turning ping-pong-sized red zits into teeny tiny dots?! GOD DAMN, i love technology.


my friend Moon found this article. and she said #3 reminded her so much of me.

and so i read it.

#3 says:

Having kids isn’t (always) the end of the world.


While there are always going to be the friends who fall off the face of the planet in a jumble of sanctimonious Facebook comments over how much more fulfilled her life is now that she’s a mother, that is far from being the case for all who spawn. Outside of the ones whose lives become a blur of ultrasound photos and breast pumps, there are going to be many cool moms who are still totally interesting and who have just happened to push another person out of their body recently. And though it is undoubtedly terrifying the first time you see someone you used to hold beer bongs for announce that they’re bringing another human being into the world, you soon realize that it doesn’t always signal the death of a friendship.

i felt really special that it touched Moon so much. and she's right. i still am totally interesting! i still am cool! 

and so i got to thinking...

for some reason, today's women in their 20s are expected to follow a new social norm that requires keeping one's baby fever under wraps. having babies has festered this weird stigma that a woman is giving up. she is a woman who doesn't care about a career. she doesn't want to be successful. she is a piss-poor feminist. she is trading in her brain for a lifetime of housewivery. she is judged by her other 20-something friends, and she should be ashamed for admitting she wants a baby. 

that's so stupid. 

just like the millions of women before us, we simply want to join the motherhood club. creating a miniature human is a god damned miracle. A MIRACLE YOU GUYS. even more (and i comment about this on a daily basis), is the fact that we women have the capability to singlehandedly sustain the life of our babies through our boobs. OUR. BOOBS. MAKE. FOOD. the best food, in fact, formulated specifically for what our baby needs. it still blows my mind. she came from me. i love my husband so much that we made and brought baby into the world (!!!). this happens to people everywhere, everyday, yes i know. but it's no less incredible. it really is something! there is nothing like staring into the eyes of your baby after she screams in your face for taking her rice cracker away and saying to yourself "GOOD GOD, this child is me. this child is SOOOO ME! holyshit." and the first time that happens will kick a woman in the ass. taking a moment to sit back and really appreciate and process that feeling is a monumental life experience that can only be obtained by becoming a mom. and i know it's not for everybody, but for those of you who are craving a baby deep within the depths of your loins, just say it! open up dialogue about it. with your friends. with your sisters. with your mom. (also you should probably discuss it with your partner). just stop being silent about it. it's okay to want a baby. even though you'll replace drinking AMFs and riding mechanical bulls with 2 a.m. feedings and saying things like "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET POOP ALL THE WAY UP THE BACK OF YOUR NECK?!" you'll still be you. you'll still be cool. 

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

what's on L's phone?!

Sand and her darling baby girl I. LOOK at that rockstar hair! 



little Gemmerjams. she was wearing this to Gymboree class (without hat, shoes or vest) and the instructor didn't know she was a girl. C'MON! THAT'S A PETER PAN COLLAR! SHE'S A GIRLLLLLLLLLLLLL. ghoddd. 



hangin out. LOL at JJ. he looks like a snobby Victorian woman. 



bff bracelets for Gemmie and me. from Moon at Ratbone Skinny



CLEOPUPPY 



toothbrushes (toothbri?) for 3 



my cousin B (in a cardigan) and Kenny G!  



KENNY G! RIGHT THERE! RIGHT BY US! (embarrassingly excited)



 little pink puffball. she hates this snowsuit. she gets all pissed off that her hands are trapped. hahaha



sisters chillin. 



post-first workout. death. death. death.  



zzzzzz

Monday, January 28, 2013

what's inside my brain



skirt: Ann Taylor Loft, cardigan: Express, Hunter boots, bracelet: c/o Anya


1. oh how weird, it's raining in Seattle. 

2. GOOD GOD i need to get my hair done. it's been almost 3 months. and now it's like a challenge. i'm all "let's see how disgusting my hair can get before i cave and get it colored." am seriously considering getting a fresh look and going Julianne Hough with my beyond-damaged locks...i always had short hair until i got extensions for my wedding and i was like OMG LONG HAIR RULEZZZ (then i couldn't afford to keep getting them redone, so i had to take them out and was seriously bummed out at my own pathetic, real hair. and so i have been growing it out ever since) i want to cut my hair but i'm conflicted because i don't want a mom haircut. do you see the difficult problems i have to deal with?!?!?! 

3. this bracelet that Anya sent me is so awesome. chunky and fabulous. she makes gorgeous, earthy jewelry and eco-friendly body products--totally cool. CHECK OUT HER STUFF! 

4. so Vine. omgyouguys. Vine is so fun. GETITNOW. i'm Queen Lacie if you want to follow along.

5. i started training for the 5K. i really did. and i finished my first workout and i immediately wanted to quit. it was so awful. i really just don't understand how people get addicted to exercise. the sweat. the pain. the TIME it takes. i thought i was going to die after the first workout. yesterday i did my second workout and i made JJ come with me. and he wore Vans. VANS YOU GUYS.  like we were going to traipse around the farmer's market or something. that's how low and easy my workouts are for him. i was like "c'mon JJ. Vans? you can't run in Vans. put on your real running shoes so i don't feel like an idiot." but he ignored me.

6. Kenny G did not disappoint. HE EVEN PLAYED A CHRISTMAS SONG! did you know that Kenny G is really Jewish? but his best-selling albums are his Christmas albums. he was literally like 3 feet from me and my cousin (!!!) and he's about my size. embarrassing but true: i have been to two live Kenny G concerts. one with Rah back in '09. 

7. Gemma isn't crawling yet. and i have decided not to care. because whatevs. she'll crawl when she wants to crawl.

8. i started an Amazon wish list. and now i'm depressed because i can't afford anything on it. 

9. JJ and i watched the original National Lampoon's Vacation last night. i mean HOW FUNNY is that movie? "she's not fine Clark, she's dead!"

10. i posted a picture on Instagram this morning of our toothbrushes. and then i thought i should reveal a fun fact about myself: i will not brush my teeth with a toothbrush of any other color than pink. in a reallll pinch, i'll use a purple one. but pink is king. 


Friday, January 25, 2013

currently


black skinnies: Hudson, boots: Sam Edelman, vest: Converse for Target


currently (inspired by B)

watching: literally every show on television. i am a television whore and i don't even care. i DVR everything and watch them while Gemma takes her naps. favorites: Pretty Little Liars, The Good Wife, kourtneyandkimtakemiami, Modern Family, New Girl, Parks and Rec.

eating: the last crumbs from the best effing cinnamon rolls i have ever had in my entire life. which were 100% homemade and "i PROMISE L, not that hard to make!"(i don't believe you) THANK YOU ALI 

thinking about: how badly i want a fat burrito for lunch. also, about my impending weekend plans that definitely include chillin with JJ and G, mani/pedis with LJ, at least 2 redboxes and also some Indian food. and may quite possibly include a Kenny G concert with my cousin. 

mad at JJ for: clipping his toenails wildly and freely (i.e. not over the garbage can) 

reading: The New Yorker, In the Shadow of the Banyan by Vaddey Ratner 

celebrating: the fact that JJ and i are now officially signed up for the Disneyland 5K! and also, i downloaded the couch-to-5K app on my phone. and i picked this fluffy pink cartoon poodle to be my coach. i'm all set. NOW, to get started on the actual training...

craving: well, besides that fat burrito. i adore this pink leather-bound Jane Austen set:



making me happy: Gemma. she gives kisses when you ask for them! and yesterday she just learned how to wave bye-bye! OHMYGODYOUGUYSSHEISSOOOOOSMART


Thursday, January 24, 2013

basically my whole day yesterday



corduroy pants: J Brand, blazer/heels: BCBG


Gemma is so over it in that second pic. but LOOK AT HER LITTLE TONGUE in the last one. sticking her tongue out is her new favorite thing.

here is my day yesterday. i'm going to write all about it. because i can.

i left my favorite necklace at Gymboree on accident. Jimbo better not steal it or i will shank his ass. 

WE GOT TO MEET MY FRIEND SAND'S BABY YESTERDAY and i wept a bit because she is the most precious little thing. i love her. she's so delicious. and the little newborn fuzz on her arms you guys. i almost died dead. BECAUSE NEWBORN ARM FUZZ IS THE VERY BEST. and Gemma was like a giant compared to Baby I. Sand and i are so lucky these two girls will grow up together as friends. 

i made Sand and her husband pasta roma to have for dinner and so i also made it for me and JJ. so we ate dinner. and then i watched some of my DVRed shows while JJ browsed hockey gear online. and then i checked Facebook. and then i ordered a bath toy holder from Amazon because right now Gemma's bath toys are in a salad bowl in the bathroom and i feel like they're growing mold. then i wrestled with Cleo. and then i annoyed JJ while also succeeding at one of my new year's resolutions (pinching his bum) so essentially i was killing two birds with one stone. and then we went to bed. 

at 1 a.m. i heard a strange noise outside. it was close. and it kept coming closer and closer and all of a sudden it was right outside our bedroom window. just like a scary movie. AND THEN IT HIT ME. I KNEW THE SOUND. it was the sound of a garbage can being wheeled down the driveway. i said "OHMYGOD JJ WAKE UPPPPPP THE NEIGHBOR IS TAKING HIS GARBAGE OUT AT 1 A.M. THAT IS NOT NORMAL." and JJ said, "you don't have to shout, i'm right here and i'm already awake." and so we listened to our weird neighbor finish dragging his garbage to the end of the driveway. and i said, "JJ. but really though, why would they wait until 1 a.m. to take the garbage out?" and JJ said, "because there's probably a body in there." and i said "OHMYGOD THAT'S SO SCARY SHUT UP. but you're right. there's definitely a body in there." so basically we are 98% positive that our neighbors are murderers. try going back to sleep after that conversation. it took me like 38 minutes. then at 4 a.m. Cleo decided she had to go poop. so typical. so i had to walk outside and wait for her to take care of that business. and the murder neighbors' light was on. at 4 a.m. you guys!!!!! obviously they are vampires. vampire murderers. WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?!?!?!?!?

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

what's on L's phone?!

annnnd it's purple, FOR THE WIN: purple shirt. purple sippy cup. purple spoon. 



enjoying the fire as entertainment like a 19th century baby. 



Chanel. she's fabulous but she's evil.  


i said "CLEO! CLEO! GOOD GIRL CLEO! COME HERE CLEO!!" and this is how she responded.



outfit of the day. i wanted to document what i was wearing the day the President gave such an incredible speech. also, can we talk about Michelle's red Jason Wu dress? WOW! girl owned that shit.



Chanel says, "i ordered the merlot, not the cab." sheesh, she's SUCH a wine snob.  



she loves munching on these pillows. maybe the sequins feels good on her gums?? 


JJ took Cleo to his office today. and he found an abandoned chair in the building for her to sit in while he works. hahahahhaha (note: the California flag is NO LONGER IN MY HOME! hurrah!)


hairdos by Gem.  



Valentine's Day decorations at our house! 



Gemsie's little flower baby (as opposed to flower girl) dress came! she will wear it in JJ's brother's wedding this summer. his fiancĂ©e is a real sweetheart and i'm so excited for her to be an official Hansen! oh this dress is honestly just way too miniature and adorable to put away in her closet. so out in the living room it hangs. 



Gemcake's new playmat! it's so bright and cute. doesn't quite go with our home decor...but whatevs.  



JJ took the Gemma for a run in the jogging stroller's maiden voyage! WHILE I HAD A BUBBLE BATH AND SOME WINE YEAHHHHHHH, DAWG.



JJ: "while we are in Selah (he says it "Sa-lay" because that's how he thought it was pronounced when we first started dating hahahahhaa) i have one request: that i get to have King's Row while i watch the King's game on TV." I OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THAT DUDE. King's Row never spells my name right. rude. 



these two growling at each other while out to breakfast. 



my guard dog. 

RATBONE SKINNY WINNER!

CONGRATULATIONS!
to...

AND

Christina & sunnycloudyday!
go and buy something pretty.

Dear sunnycloudyday: i need your email address so Moon can send your special 50% off code!

Thanks to Moon at Ratbone Skinny for this wild and crazy giveaway!

DON'T FORGET! you can still use code LEATHERLACE10 upon checkout through Friday for a 10% discount off any one item from Ratbone Skinny. 

xo 

Monday, January 21, 2013

diaper-less demon


Captain Hook


jacket/vest: Nordstrom, skirt: F21, belt: BCBG, shoes: Target



dirty pirate hooker vibe, no?  

Saturday was sexydatenight! JJ and i went to a delicious restaurant called Geppetto's in Yakima. i mean the. bread. sticks. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO ONLY EAT ONE (hilariously enough, we ran into my bff LJ's parents while we were there. small town perks). then we stopped for ice cream cones on the way to a movie (Silver Linings Playbook. go see it NOW omg). and it was a perfectly lovely night. except that i wasn't wearing my favorite turtleneck that i just rediscovered in my closet. the last time i wore it, i was immensely full in the belly region (read: JF/Gemma was in there). and so i was really excited (probably a little too excited actually now that i've rambled on about it for like an hour) to wear it on my sexydatenight. but destiny intervened. doesn't it always?

on Saturday afternoon before sexydatenight, while in a particularly frustrating game of rummikub (in which i was sorely losing) with my mom and sister M, i had forgotten that Miss G was at least 10 minutes into a diaper-free sesh (sometimes in between diaper changes, i like to let Gem's butt breathe. because c'mon, let's be real here: diapers cannot be comfortable. no way, no how. and plus her little naked behind is way too cute to be kept covered at all times. now i know the risks that come with a diaper-less baby bouncing about the house, but Gemma is beside herself with glee when she is free to feel the air on her nether regions). anyway, she was sitting on my lap and wiggling around all excitedly. and all of a sudden the diaper-less demon stopped and relaxed. and then came the shouting from everyone in the room, "OHNOOOO!" and "GET HER OFF THE NICE OTTOMAN L!" and "SHE'S PISSING ALL OVER THE PLACE!" and uttered from my own mouth, "NO! NOT ON MY SEXYDATENIGHT TURTLENECK!!!" 

and so i wore an old navy t-shirt instead. 

Friday, January 18, 2013

what's inside my brain



pants: J Brand, tank: i heart ronson


1. i look like a puffin with that chest. and i don't hate it. 

2. Gemma and the hairdryer being blown in her face. LOL

3. you guys. PRETTY LITTLE LIARS. i've said it before but i just...i cannot. it's sooooo scary. like SO scary. and it just keeps getting scarier. Mona is so batshit crazy. and OMG Toby's angry, black-hoodie-wearing A-team face. he is so creepy. but can we all just agree that the clothes on that show are to.die.for. ???

4. Lance Armstrong. c'mon man.

5. i seriously botched poor Cleo's haircut yesterday. she looks like a total ass.

6. while botching Cleo's hair, Gem had some tummy time. she scooted her tiny little bottom backwards out of our room, down the hallway and even turned the corner into the bathroom. (!!!) i have a feeling that crawling is in her near future. which means my days of painting my nails and online shopping while she's on the ground playing, are numbered.  

7. omg. we almost lost Gemma's FleurBunny at Target. she just disappeared. i retraced our steps and started getting reallll nervous. we went to guest services, and THERE SHE WAS. someone had turned her in! phew. crisis averted. nice to know there are good citizens out there. 

8. this video taken by my friend G of these two BFFs:


9. have you tried the Archer Farms pizza crust from Target?! i mean, it is THE BEST. thin and crispy and delicious. AND it's low fat. srsly go try it. sooo good. 

10. a Menchie's opened up right by our house. this. is. trouble.


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Thursday, January 17, 2013

glamorous


 skirt (that needs to be ironed): BCBG, cardigan: Target, shoes: JC Penney, belt: Gap



Gemma and i went to this thing called "Gymboree Play & Learn." we went with a momfriend and her adorable little girl and she warned me about the singing and the clapping and the cheesetastic time we would have there. but ohmygod what she didn't tell me about was Jimbo. GHODDD MELISSA, HOW COULD YOU NOT WARN ME ABOUT JIMBO?! (hahaaa jk) basically he is this creepy looking puppet clown that for some reason all of the babies adore. and the instructor puts him on her hand and he comes alive and interacts with each child personally. and if you feel so inclined, you can even buy your own Jimbo to have at home. anyway, when i got back to my car after our session, i looked in the mirror and--WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT--Gem had wiped my lipstick with her little fingers so it was smeared down to my chin. so basically i looked exactly like Jimbo. 

anyway, Gemma loved the class. she cried at first when everyone started singing, but ended up having the time of her life. and so back to Gymboree Play & Learn we will go! (plus, we got a Groupon. plus it's nice to interact with adults who  aren't the UPS man in the middle of the day). 

later that afternoon, after our millionth outfit change due to the extremely high content of feces that my child's body has the capability of creating, my friend G came over and brought Taco Bell for dinner. so, that was delicious. and it was only after G had been there for an hour that i realized i had baby shit on my sweater. this was in addition to the baby shit that i had on my finger earlier that day. 

some days, things aren't very glamorous.

7 day ruffle recap
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