Thursday, October 31, 2013

skulls for two

and we are off to run errands in matching skull outfits! my mother-in-law hates when i put Gemmie in skulls. but yesterday she wore the hand-knit bolero with an orange corsage from Grandma, so i think that should make up for the skull she is wearing today:

happy halloween! i hope it is magical. and also, since yesterday's post, about 800 people have told me that they too met and started dating their spouse on Halloween. so it's settled then. if you are single and looking for a mate, TONIGHT IS YOUR NIGHT.

also, Matt Lauer as Pam Anderson. i just. OMG YOU GUYS. his boobs. HOW?!?!!!! i absolutely died laughing. so hilarious.

we are going trick-or-treating with some friends tonight and i just can't wait to see the littles in their costumes! also on the menu tonight: i'm gonna OD on candy corn. i have a dentist appointment on tuesday so i feel like it's okay if i dirty my teeth right up since they're going to get extra clean in 5 days.

have a spooooooooooky day!

that was so stupid. forget i said it.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013


we are gearing up for HALLOWEEEEENIE! and once again i'm getting all nostalgic as i reminisce. for it was All Hallow's Eve 2006 whereinwhich i was Sexy Sailor and JJ was Gilligan. it was the night of our first kiss. and thus, our fate was sealed.

ah, college. pardon the drunk eyes. check out my flip phone. and that water bottle. THAT WATER BOTTLE. i made them for my roommates and myself. they had our names and jewels and Disney princess stickers on them. those water bottles carried everything from Tampico juice and vodka to actual water. also that is not JJ's real hair. it is Gilligan hair that came attached to the hat. 

i truly cannot bear to part with that stupid flammable 3x3 inch of fabric that was my costume. i pull it out of the deep dark depths of my closet (where my linen pantsuit also resides. surely every girl needs a linen pantsuit? i should also tell you that my linen pantsuit still has the tags on it) each year and smile as i rub my fingers over the Goldschl├Ąger stain on the skirt. what a magical night Halloween really is. at my MMM (Monday Morning Meeting. two girlfriends, their kids, Gemma and i go for coffee every monday now. it sounds fancier when we say "meeting" than if we were to say "coffee." even JJ knows to call it the Monday Morning Meeting now) yesterday, my girlfriend B told me she also hooked up with her husband for the first time on Halloween. you see? MAGICAL! 

for a while there after college, Halloween was nothing but a sad reminder of my yesteryear. a holiday in which i could take pictures of my dog in a Captain Jack Sparrow costume and spend all of my evening waiting excitedly for the trick-or-treaters that would never come. i feared that i would never again love Halloween as much as i once used to. 

until this:

a very sincere apology to JJ, as the family photo of the three of us is really quite horrifyingly bad of me. 

this adorable little face picking out her very own pumpkin at the patch this year and being so perfectly cute that i could die. and her COSTUMEEEEE! it's so adorable. aren't all baby costumes adorable? last year she was a little strawberry who was also a very grumpy strawberry. this year i think she will be able to get into the spirit of things! she can (sort of) say trick-or-treat ("teeteet") and she loves her costume. every time she sees it hanging in her closet she insists on wearing it. i will give you a very vague hint: we have taught her to make the corresponding sound that goes along with the costume. teehee! 

and also i am excited for Halloween again on account of finding these cocktail napkins at Marshall's:


Tuesday, October 29, 2013


we are hitting all sorts of milestones around here. Gemma is talking more than ever (new fave: "BUTTTTT!" which means button. which she screams in the elevator at Target), JJ got his first dapper, grown-up man sweater, and i'm almost positive that i have developed arthritis in my left ring finger. see what i mean? milestones.

my parents came for a visit last weekend and brought Lola and their puppy Cricket, who clumsily trotted into my house and jumped on the white couches. which are now streaked with mud. and also G got a new bow in the mail! a little red and leopard print bow literally called "The Gemma" I MEAN HOW PERFECT RIGHT?! we saw it for like 5 seconds. i put it on G's head and the next thing i knew, it was gone. it has vanished. i really think that Cricket ate it. so i told my Mom to patrol her shit because i just really loved that bow. and i want it back!!!

anyway, last week we were having a bit of trouble with naps. i would lay G Money down and 30 minutes later she was up and ready to party, while i was just settling into a new episode of Nashville. rude, right? so i downloaded the app "Best Baby Monitor" that my friend Sandi swears by...basically you download it in two places--i did it on my phone and ipad. so i stick the ipad in her room and i can watch live streaming video of GemmaTV right from my phone! isn't that fancy?! it also has a feature to play lullabies (that i can turn on from my phone) and a microphone which i can turn on and say "SIT ON YOUR BUNS AND GO NIGHT NIGHT GEMMA JULIANNE" which weirds the shit of of her because she can hear me but cannot see me hahahahaaaa. and the app is only $3.99!* (i was later alerted by my friend that the monitor apps can be hacked WHICH IS TERRIFYING, but i am trying not to be paranoid about it) and found out exactly what was going on in Gemma's room whilst she was supposed to be snoozing. i found that most days she plays silently for 30 minutes before shouting "MMOOOOMMMMMMMMMMYYYY!" so in fact, she wasn't sleeping during that 30 minutes at all.

this is really what she was doing:

dancing around in her crib.

the white rabbit gets a new seat. G chillaxin over the railing while staring directly into the camera. 

just making sure the white rabbit is still comfortable. 

 aaaaaand finally. after 42 minutes. she passes out. 

so you see, this app has been so great! GemmaTV is my favorite channel. 

*this is not a sponsored post. i literally am just obsessed with this app. everyone should get it instead of buying the $100 video baby monitors. the only thing that i don't like about is that i can't read my ibooks on my ipad while she's napping because the ipad is in her room.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

some words for this day

i have to be honest here. i am kind of over blogging right now. i am not loving it, but am hoping inspiration and my obsession with talking about myself comes back to me. in the meantime, i will spit out a few posts here and there when i'm feeling particularly wordy. by the way, i write this post as my little Gem screams "NIIIII NIIIII NAYYYY" (night night, neigh) while standing up in her crib, presumably yanking down on her mobile (it has a horse on it).

so what on earth has been going on in life of ol L?! well aside from sending out baby shower invitations with THE WRONG DAMN DATE on them, i have been quite well.

i have been eating nothing but goldfish and candy corn for the past week and i'm not even mad about it.

i have begun my Christmas shopping (falalalalaaaaaa!).

this spider crawled out of my suitcase when i was doing laundry the other day and i screamed bloody murder and JJ came running in to see what all the excitement was about and he yelled just as loudly. i begged him to step on it and he shouted, "NO L! I CANNOT! I AM AFRIAD TO SQUISH HIM! I THINK HE WILL RESIST MY FOOT!!" (and he gets offended when i call him a drama queen). he finally stepped on it and then i had to wipe him up. he was absolutely massive!!! my hand is there for frame of reference. I MEAN LOOK AT THAT THING! we had the heebeejeebees all day.

whenever i say "naughty" to Gemma, she puts herself in timeout, giggling. i've got to come up with something new.

some girlfriends and i have started meeting for a monday coffee date at a kid-friendly place and it is the most wonderful way to start the week!

Gemma says "pumkee" which obviously means pumpkin and also got her halloween costume. we have put out the sparkly orange skull head and have purchased the 8,000-calorie pumpkin streusel muffins from Costco so IT'S REAL FESTIVE AROUND HERE!

aaaaaand Gem is finally out cold. so that's my cue to put on sweats and eat more candy corn. L OUT!
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