and the battle we had this morning over a vitamin. A VITAMIN. and she loves vitamins. she asks me for them everyday, "buy-tah peasssthe?" she got mad today because i told her to eat it. and she doesn't enjoy doing things i tell her to do.
and at Target, when she refused to be anything but a surly turd:
it was time. we marched right out of Target and into Barnes & Noble to buy a parenting book. i even told Gemma she could pick out a new book for herself! and so naturally, she ran away from me, up and down the aisles yelling and pulling books from the shelves. i caught up to her and told her never to run away from me (also, it should be noted that a woman and her baby came down the aisle we were in while i was trying to teach Gemma this important life lesson. literally she was standing so close to me that we were touching. C'MON LADY, LET A SISTER DISCIPLINE HER KID IN PEACE AT BARNES & NOBLE! ghoddddd). anyway, G obviously ran away again. so i
there i was, the woman i never thought i would be. the one holding her rabid monkey of a child while standing in line to buy a parenting book. such irony, isn't it?
she screamed all the way to the car, and i silently strapped her in. i started the car, and just as quickly as she had escalated to crazy, she turned the sweetness and charm right on, asking for her music to be turned up, "hi mommy. sew-man peasssthe" (that's the song Snowman in the Summer by Caspar Babypants in case you were wondering). it's astonishing how fast she goes from asshole to adorable. it really is.
i'm not sure what i hope to find in the parenting book. encouragement? answers? Dr. Harvey has never met a Gemma Julianne Hansen before. how in the hell would he know how to deal with her explosive temperament? i consider my parenting style to be pretty laid back. and i have often times thought to myself, "oh yeah, L. you got this. you're so easygoing. let Gemma be who she wants to be. you're so good at this!" but now my assuredness is wavering. as my little girl's personality continues to develop, the more of a wild card she becomes.
i bought the book to guide me through this new phase of life, but i'm not sure that a book is what i need. this is a learning experience for both of us. i need to embrace and accept this fiery little strong-willed human. and she needs to embrace and accept the fact that i am her mother and also the boss. somewhere in the middle there, we'll figure it out.