Thursday, July 31, 2014

a mother's night out

today we have been held hostage by the threat of a poo. you see, i want G's next one to be in her potty. so we waited around allllll morning for the damn thing to come...and it never did. our plans for the library were foiled on account of a hypothetical poop. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!

anyway, JJ and Gemma had a lovely father-daughter bonding evening last night (they went for a stroll to the playground, then to the beach, then to the candy store to pick out some more skittles for Potty Training Treats, then home for dinner and a bath. DAD IS SO MUCH COOLER THAN MOM, GHODDDD!) while i escaped for a dinner out with my Melissa. i picked her up on the side of the road like the hobo she is (long story), and then she treated me to a lovely dinner at Purple, got me a beautiful new picnic/beach blanket (my old one is ghetto and i always complained about it) and filled my evening with JUST the conversation and freedom that i needed. THANKS LISSA I LOVE YOU!!! 

baked brie and a glass of sparkling non-alcoholic wine!  

blow, L. 

new shoes.

but...this blog wouldn't be the blog that it is if i didn't have a weird anecdote to share with you though, now would it? 

so i used to have my bellybutton pierced. it was a terrible mistake i made at age 16 (THAT GEMMA HERSELF WILL NOT EVER MAKE!!!) but i just wanted it so bad. and really, how thrilling was it when Claire's got in a new shipment of bellybutton rings, AMIRITE?! anyway. i let it close years ago, but was left with a hideous scar to haunt me of that particular the one poor decision of my youth. when i was pregnant with Gemma, that scar stretched and got even more hideous with each passing week. and after i had her and my tummy "returned back to normal" (heavy use on the quotations, there), my bellybutton piercing scar hung there even more sadly than it had before. and this pregnancy, it looks as if my ugly old scar is just repeating the process of its slow and steady stretch, and its eventual sad and saggy decent downward (although, i do have to say: it's not stretching quite as much...my stomach is significantly smaller this time around. i'm measuring right on schedule at 30 weeks. at 30 weeks with Gemma, i was measuring 5 weeks ahead, that little beast!). ANYWAY, last night while i was getting ready to go out to dinner, i felt a sting on my tummy. i looked down to see that my bellybutton piercing scar was bleeding. BLEEDING YOU GUYS. and i yelped and complained to JJ and he said, "that is so gross and weird. why?" (so helpful, as always) and i was like "I DON'T KNOWWWWW! WHATTTT IS HAPPENING?!?!?!" i'm thinking that maybe the baby kicked it just in the right spot to make the skin split open or something?? who effin KNOWS?!?! it was time to go to dinner though, so i ran to the bathroom to slather on some neosporin and pop a bandaid on it and was out the door. 

and in the car on the way there, i pulled my dress up above my belly, because obviously. clothes are just so restricting when you're 7 months pregnant! and also Melissa wasn't in my car yet, so it was ok. and i looked down at my belly and just started laughing. because i hadn't paid any attention to what bandaid i had actually picked. I HAD PICKED A MUSTACHE BANDAID. i just couldn't stop laughing (which in turn, made my tummy shake like a bowl full of jelly just like Santa Claus. and i laughed even more) LOOK AT IT YOU GUYS!!!!!! my bellybutton has a mustache!!!!!!


hahahahahhahahahahahaaaaaa!!!!!

4 comments:

  1. Where did you get those awesome shoes??

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOVE!!!!! More dinners out please!

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  3. Omg! Hilarious! And I'm glad I'm not the only one with a weird stretched out bellybutton scar!

    ReplyDelete

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