Wednesday, July 16, 2014
this was the snapchat i sent out this morning.
Gemmie and i were running late per usual, and i (AGAIN. when will i learn?!) took my prenatal vitamin too quickly before my breakfast had time to digest and settle. so while G was sitting on my bed flipping through the pages of the book i'm currently reading on my iPad (she loses my place in the book like every 4 hours hkjsadfkhasdfkhj nothing more frustrating!), i was sitting on the floor of the bathroom telling myself that i WOULD NOT PUKE. mind over matter. mind. over. matter. and i didn't. then i stood up and walked back into the bedroom, which is precisely when Gem chucked her own book (The Prince's Bedtime- great book FYI), and it sliced my ankle with it's sharp corner before hitting the floor. i yowled "GOD DAMMIT!" in pain and shouted at my child, "NO NO NO GEMMA DO NOT THROW BOOKS! ESPECIALLY AT MOMMY! NOT COOL!" which is also when i noticed that my bedroom window was open and my neighbor was walking by as i was yelling. argh! caught in the act of being an asshole mom is the worst.
then i threw on a tshirt (that says "i'm so broke" which is entirely true) and stretchy shorts and we left the house. and by the time i actually looked in the mirror i was like WTF THERE ARE A FAMILY OF BIRDS (PERHAPS RATS, EVEN) LIVING IN MY HEAD. my hair was ridiculous. just absolutely ridiculous.
and you know, i haven't used a brush in like 7 years. really, it's true. isn't that terrible?! and i think maybe it's time. it's time i bought myself a brush. but the problem now is that i want a Mason Pearson. but c'mon, $150+?! FOR A BRUSH?! i realize it's made of boar hair or whatever. but Mason Pearson acts like boars are extinct and their hairs are worth their weight in gold. first of all, boars are disgusting. secondly, don't they run rampant and in abundance in Indonesia? i might as well catch one, cut off its hairs and make my own GD brush.
but really, the only reason i'm whining is because i really want one now and i can't have it (refer back to the tshirt i am wearing today).