Thursday, May 29, 2014

G is two

Gemma is 2! TWO! she's 25 pounds now ("that's a quarter of the way to 100, L" said JJ pensively), is going to start drinking big kid 2% milk and says "i luffoo too mommy" when i tell her i love her. she's as strong as an ox, is a little turd, and gives the loveliest kisses.

we blew up 20 balloons the night before her birthday and in the morning before she woke up, i said "JJ we gotta go put the balloons in her crib!" and he said, "be right back, gotta poop real quick." A FULL 30 MINUTES LATER, he came out of the bathroom and she was already awake, but we brought in the balloons...she was still so excited, even though it wasn't a surprise. and i suppose this pink balloons in her bed on her birthday thing is a tradition now, since we did it last year too!

JJ made waffles with whipped cream and raspberries for the birthday girl.

and then we took her to Petco for her Big Birthday Surprise! she got to pick out any fish that she wanted! well actually, any Beta fish that she wanted. we had our sights set on this fat goldfish but the Petco lady was all "you'll need a 20-gallon tank for that one" so we like threw it back in the water and grabbed a Beta instead. G picked out blue and green gemstone rocks for the bowl, we grabbed a 100-year supply of Beta food, and we went to checkout. then the cats for sale caught JJ's eye and he took Gemmie over to see them. i paid for the fish things and they were still loitering by the cats, so i went over there. that's when JJ turned to me with sad, worried eyes and said, "L. this is a 7-year-old cat. let's buy it. no one else is going to. i want to save it." HE WANTED TO BUY A USED CAT YOU GUYS. i was like, "NO guy, we are not buying an old fart cat today. besides, if you really want an old fart cat, we can bring Chanel back home to live with us." that got him to be quiet, but i like had to drag him out of Petco. he kept stealing glances back at Old Cat until we were out of the parking lot.

i asked Gemma what her new fish's name was and she said, "Daddy Fishy." which is what she calls him. i kind of have hurt feelings.

and then we had to go to Discount Tire because SOMEONE SLASHED MY BACK LEFT TIRE (actually, the tire man said it was probably an impact slash from hitting a curb. whatever, what does he know anyway?! i'm a good driver!) and G ran amok in the place until she settled in to watch some PBS on my phone while i got really into an old I Spy book that was in the magazine rack.

then we went home, made the spaghetti sauce for dinner and she went down for a nap. i made chocolate chip cookies and cleaned the house. when she woke up, JJ came home and we went for frozen yogurt! the young man who worked at Menchie's did a magic trick for us and gave Gemstone a balloon.

and when we got home, she opened presents! 

we got about 8,642 FaceTime calls, and then our good friends came over for dinner and we indulged in the spaghetti feast! at which point Gemma decided she no longer likes spaghetti. kasjdhfsahkjdfah JJ bribed her to take a bite with the promise of cookies for dessert, then she finished her spaghetti.

we watched the Kings choke in double overtime (can the hockey season just. please. be. OVER. already?!?!) and birthday girl checked on Daddy Fish before settling into bed.

it was a wonderful day.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

"nap time" // 3

i watched this struggle for a good 10 minutes, laughing my ass off before going in to help her. 

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

what's inside my brain

1. probably the sweetest and most wonderful thing i have ever seen in my life was yesterday when Gemma wanted Daddy to be a princess. so he sat patiently while she put a crown, earrings, bracelets, a ring and evening gloves on him. he also plays hockey outside with her and dances with her and chases the dog around the house with her. i love that he lets her be exactly who she wants to be. he wins at being a dad. he reallllllly does!

2. this new necklace! (from Secret Sky). my wardrobe currently consists of 3 black and 4 grey tshirts. so boring i could die. but whatevs, they're comfy! i just got this necklace that matches all of my shirts, though, and spices up the ol' bump quite nicely. the perfect blend of trendy and bohemian! the website is awesome because you can order whatever pieces you want, try them at home with your own clothes and send what you don't want back. and they charge you for what you keep. TOTALLY COOL.

3. i always do my own nails. and i like to call attention to the fact that i do my own nails. it makes me feel thrifty, and like JJ should be proud of me for not being high maintenance. but you guys, i got my first gel manicure and HOLY SHIT i may have to throw that thriftiness out the window because omg is it great. GREAT. i'm on day 3 and not even a HINT of chipping. they look as perfect as they did when i left the salon. it's a miracle!

4. i want to forever and ever remember the way Gemma says "pock-kiss-el" and "coo-cock" (popsicle and peacock). toddler talk is the absolute BEST.

5. i've mentioned this before, but if you haven't read Wonder, do yourself a favor and add it to your summer reading list. actually, if you only ever read one book in your LIFE, read this book. it changed my life and touched my heart in a way that no other book has ever done. its main message is that kindness is the only thing that really truly matters.

6. the pregnancy pillow my parents got me for mother's day has been completely life-changing. like i literally do not know HOW IN THE HELL i survived my last pregnancy without it. JJ calls it my boyfriend. it's a miracle that it actually fits into our small bed with us, but it does! it's 100% pure perfection. i sleep like a real queen now, and G loves it too!

7. re: baby names. i suggest a name, JJ shuts it down. it's very annoying.

8. JJ got a Nike fuelband for his birthday and it's really effin sweet. mostly because it says JUST DO IT JEREMY to him everyday. i mean, that kind of motivation, RIGHT THERE ON YOUR WRIST is the greatest kind of motivation i've ever heard of. also it measures movement, not steps. and now i kind of want one too. and one for Gemma. because she would MAX THAT SHIT OUT every single day.

9. Gemma got a pack of new undies yesterday, so i've tried to start many discussions about how she can only wear them if she starts going in the big girl potty. she interrupts me every single time and shouts "NEW PANTIES MAMA! BOO-BERRIES!" (the undies have fruit on them) into my face. #notready


Monday, May 19, 2014

a day for a mom

GREETINGS! i haven't really been keeping up with pregnancy updates, so i'll start off with an 18-week shot of JF2 (two weeks old) taken the tuesday before mother's day. it was a cold and rainy day. damn you, Seattle.

BUT THEN the sun came out and it was perfect. we were outside all of last week, so i didn't even get to blog about my perfectly wonderful mother's day!

actually it wasn't perfect for poor ol' G. she came down with a diarrhea virus that was straight death and destruction. death in the sense that JJ and i LITERALLY ALMOST DIED from the smell (candles and lighting matches and all the windows open, etc) and destruction being the amount of times we had to strip her crib down and wash the sheets. the poor girl's belly was just rotten. the good news is though, she got pretty good at differentiating between farts and poops, and that is a very valuable life lesson.

sick baby was even tired enough to take a nap in my arms. it was bittersweet. so sad because she wasn't feeling well, but i was thrilled to hold sleeping Gemmie.

JJ and i didn't get to spend the weekend with either of our own moms, so we sent little tokens of love to them instead. i bought my favorite tea towels from Target and needle pointed their first initial on them in pink thread (my Grandma taught me how to needle point when i was a kid, it was fun to do it again!) and i wrote the exact same message on each of their cards (busted!) but every word is true. we are so lucky to have them!

we skipped church because of Diarrhea Gem, and JJ made me breakfast in bed like the hero he is. homemade buttermilk chocolate chip pancakes (OHMYGOD YES) and berries and a mocha. well, i made the mocha because he doesn't do it right, but still, it was perfect! so delicious. Diarrhea Gem was only supposed to eat plain toast and pedialyte. but JJ slipped her one coin-sized pancake (sans choc chips).

then i got the most thoughtful card ever from my hubbles that made me cry, and a whole slew of tulips! and after Diarrhea Gem had her next diarrhea episode, we thought we had a couple hours before another struck, so we quickly headed to the mall, where JJ said i could pick out a pair of BIRKENSTOCKS. (you guys, before you yell at me, you must know that Birkenstocks are back in style! don't believe me? read this. Anna Wintour doesn't lie!!!) i thought about going with the classic double strap black ones but thought that maybe i wouldn't be able to pull that off while pregnant (i.e. fat hippie), and so i ended up picking the black thong style and i just adore them. so comfortable and my back isn't hurting from shitty sandals with no arch support.

we then went to lunch at Nordstrom Cafe, and just as we were finishing up, we smelled a Terrible Smell. it was Diarrhea Gem. after a quick diaper change (even though it was mother's day, i split the diarrhea diapers with JJ because it would have been just plain cruel to make him handle 100% of them), we headed home.

and while Diarrhea Gem took a nap, JJ, Cleo and i sat outside and enjoyed the sun. i was elbow deep in bag of cool ranch doritos (they have been HITTING THE SPOT lately) until JJ yelled at me about chemicals and MSG and took the bag away from me. rude.

we spent the evening hanging out, and i was pleased as punch to be spending my special day with the two people who made me a mom (three if you count JF2). i love these goons!

Friday, May 9, 2014

a few of our favorite things

we haven't done one of these in a while! and Gemma is starting to get very particular about what she likes and doesn't like. what she likes most is to put coins in her mouth. but that's not going on the list. and she still favors the monkeys that she's adored almost her entire life. i highly recommend them! 

ok here it is, G-the-almost-two-year-old's favorites!

1. Grimm's Small Rainbow Nesting Blocks: she got this from the Easter bunny and it really is a fun little toy! it allows for many different stacking options and encourages imagination. Gem likes to make the rainbow, call out the colors, wreck it, then start over again.

2. Brio Pull Along Bumble Bee: she got this as a Christmas gift from Grandma and Grandpa and it's so cute to watch her pull it all around the house. she says "walk bee mama! bye bye!" it makes the most adorable little buzzy-sound (NOT battery-related thank GOD. just a little clicking noise) and his wings twirl when he's moving.

3. Little Critter: Grandma, Grandpa and Me: for some reason, Gemma is completely OBSESSED with this book. loves it so much that she even took a bite out of one of the corners. i received it as a shower gift, and from the moment i brought it out, it was love at first sight. i remember these books from my childhood, so it's fun to read them to her (remember the mouse and spider hiding on every page?!) we've got to order her a couple more, because this damn story of grandma's pie winning the blue ribbon at the country fair because it has the most love in it, is getting REAL OLD.

4. Corolle Mon Premier Bebe Calin: this is the sweetest little baby doll there ever was. i love Corolle because they have a doll for every stage of a little girl's (or boy's!) life. she even smells good! G like to pat her on the back and say "FI-YAAA!" which obviously means, "put in her pacifier now please."

5. Corolle Doll Stroller: mostly this is a favorite because it rams into a person's shins and makes them howl, but Gemmie does like to push her baby around in it. she also puts little treasures (monkeys, "ball gowlfs" ((golf balls)), "cappish" ((chap stick)), coins, etc) on the hood. which is so funny because that's where i put my phone and keys when i'm pushing Gem around in her stroller. she pays more attention to what i'm doing that i think! 

6. DwellStudio Thermos: this started out as a battle between friends. the sweet little boy in my MMM group had one, and his two bully girlfriends kept stealing it. so we decided that each of the kids should have their own. turns out it is the BEST cup! keeps things cold forever (duh, it's a Thermos) and can handle the abuse of a toddler throwing it out of shopping carts, strollers, etc. we keep it in my purse for when we're out and about. the perfect on-the-go cup. 

7. Native Shoes 'Jefferson': Gemma L-O-V-E-S these shoes. "WED SHOES!!!!" i have to hide them from her sometimes when i want her to wear something different. i originally bought them for our trip to Disneyworld so she would stay nice and comfy, but now they will be a staple in her wardrobe for many years. they're basically a stylish version of Crocs (there is nothing i hate more than a pair of Crocs. nothing). they're water-proof, blister-proof, indestructible and nothing short of amazing. the most perfect summer shoe there ever was. 

8. Moulin Roty Mouse Backpack: G received this as a gift from Nannie & Bear for her first birthday, and she thinks it's so cool. she wears it around the house, and many times will not leave the house without it. this is THE CUTEST thing she owns. my heart swells every time i see her wearing it.

9. Radio Flyer 4-in-1 Trike: this thing is the SHIT (thanks to my Mimi & Papa! it was a Christmas gift). it takes a kid from baby to full-blown tricycle-riding toddler. right now JJ and i can push her around in it, but eventually that long handle piece (and all the other safety pieces) come off and it turns into a regular trike. so cool! 

Thursday, May 8, 2014


headed to hell in a handbasket, as they say.

yesterday was a day. JJ had to work late at a trade show and my darling Gem was just full of the dickens from dawn until dusk. her adventures yesterday included: coloring on the couches with pen (THE WHITE COUCHES! WITH PEN!), pushing her friend down on the deck outside (friend got a nice little scratch on her nose. we're so very sorry Isla!), coloring the dog with blue sidewalk chalk, opening up a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and placing the peanut butter side face down on my boob, stomping around in a pile of Cleo pee outside on the cement, etc. LIKE I SAID, FULL OF THE DICKENS.

after a nice bath to wash off the grime and Cleo pee from her body, we had a subtle book reading session before i put her down for the night. i walked into my room, into my pajamas, and into bed with my heating pad (omg i had forgotten a bit about pregnancy back aches!! owwww!) and had a huge feeling of satisfaction settle over me.

it had really been a long day, but alas, THESE are the days of our lives. and funny enough, knowing that i would be alone with Gempop without JJ's help gave me like a kind of superpower patience that i normally wouldn't posses at the end of the day. on normal days, i know that JJ will be home by 5:30, so if i can just make it alive by that time--even if i'm like crawling around the house, without pants, weak, exhausted and begging for mercy--then i've done it. i can partially check out once he's arrived. but yesterday i had to survive until 8 p.m. instead. and i did. and it was fine. and i remained patient and attentive and present right up until bedtime because i had to! and it made me realize that on normal days i start to lose patience and sanity around 5 (any other stay-at-home-moms have a designated time like this, when you start to lose it?), anticipating JJ's return to the shitstorm pigsty motherboard that is our home. i don't like that about myself. i want to be better, like i was yesterday.

so now i'm going to make a more conscious effort to remain calm and patient the entire day. i think Gemma liked me better at the end of the day yesterday, and i definitely liked myself better too. this is not to say that i'm going to strive for perfection or anything (Lord knows i am bound to lose my shit every now and then), but i'm definitely going to try.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

"nap time" // 2

This was the day we decided to start bed shopping for Gemma. JJ was age two himself when he climbed out of his crib and broke his arm. 

Also, the same day, after her failed escape attempt, she stood here screaming "GOD DAMMIT!" over and over. that's a parenting win for us, most definitely.

Friday, May 2, 2014


thanks to Sand for capturing this shot at the beach today. G is on a chocolatey-mouthed-post-cookie high and hey! what do you know, my pregnant lady double chin has snuck up on me, god dammit.

being a stay-at-home mom often times means that i don't know what the hell day it is. i know days only by our weekly scheduled playdates (i.e. MMM is this morning--oh! it must be monday! and yay! Sand and I.Baby come over today--oh! it must be wednesday!, etc.) except when it's friday. when it's friday i shout "TGIMFF!!!!" all day (THANK GOD IT'S MFING FRIDAY)

on fridays i cannot be irritated. on fridays i do not care that my shithead of a stove/oven is free standing and wobbly in my kitchen. on fridays i do not care about laundry. or messes. or Cleo (just kidding, Cleo. kind of ). on fridays i am just like everyone else in America: CHEERS TO THE WEEKEND!!!

and it's not because i am free from work for two days (SOL there, L) it's mainly because it's etched into my brain that fridays are the best day ever. after years of school and desk jobs running my existence, i can't help it! it's ALSO because it means that we get to hang out with JJ all weekend long. it's pretty great. we very much enjoy each other to the fullest extent (i.e. drive JJ so bat-shit crazy that he is thrilled to go to work by the time monday rolls around). we are going to Sesame Street live this weekend (expecting some major excitement there), the lilacs are in bloom (LILACS SMELL THE BEST), and after a busy and full week of sun and love, we are ready for a cozy and rainy weekend inside. also my shipment of Nespresso pods arrived today (FIST PUMP).

TGIMFF to you too.

Thursday, May 1, 2014


10 things that have happened. mostly Gemma things.

1. we planted flowers! (and by "we," i clearly mean JJ and my dad) L's secret garden 2014! (sexual innuendo pun definitely intended) that gorgeous flower is a peony! i got a peony TREE. they exist. and they grow 6-8 feet tall. i'm so excited! i also got two tomato plants. everything else JJ and my dad picked out. boring stuff like begonias and shit. 

2. Gemsie Bear went on her last free-as-a-lap-infant flight. bittersweet. she's so grown up! it will be great to have her very own seat for future flights. not so great to have to pay for her very own seat. and what a lucky girl she was: we got bumped to first class on her last free flight! it was quite fun. we acted like we belonged there and everything. 

3. G fed an alpaca a carrot while wearing a tutu. it's not everyday you get to do that, you know.

4. shut up Cleo. at JJ's parents' house, my dumb dog kept perching on that cart.

5. Gemma learned how to instagram. she almost posted this artsy shot of her sandaled feet.

 6. Gemma had her first Taco Bell! in Hawaii! don't worry, i didn't feed her grade F meat! barf. i got her a cheese roll-up. which, by the way, she garbled down so fast. she was still hungry...and since we were at a food court...i got her McDonald's fries. hahahhaahahaa my Mom and JJ almost had heart attacks when i sent them this picture. c'mon you guys, the kid's gotta live a little! 

7. the sun came out--and it was GLORIOUS! all of the stay-at-home-moms changed out of their yoga pants and went outside! miracles do happen. we had a zoo morning yesterday and an awesome beach day today. perfection!

8. JJ's parents' dog Zoe and Gemma had a tug-of-war with JJ's mom's bra.  

8. G floated away on a chalk balloon.  

10. we popped into the Aulani Resort in Hawaii for brunch (Disney magic WHENEVER and WHEREVER. i'll take it!) and Gemma spotted Goofy from a mile away. she gasped and said "OH GOOFY!" and ran right into his crotch for a nice long, awkward embrace. 
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