disclaimer: i sort of cheated. early this morning we had an appointment with the principal of Gemma's new school, so i dressed myself. i didn't want him to think i was a total assclown. but as soon as the meeting was over, we went straight home to change, i promise!
today Gemma wanted "polkapolkapolkapolka dots" and "fluffy pink heart coat" and "pink pants" and "oh yeah, dat big hat" (whose brim does not fit into the door frame of the car FYI). in Gemstone's world, there is nary a day that is too boring for a fancy hat! she picked the same necklace as yesterday, which is the worst necklace to wear while nursing Baby Beau. i end up having to swing it behind me while he eats. which was precisely the scene when i was almost strangled to death by Gemma, as she was climbing over the booth of the bakery we were sitting in, and got her boot caught on the necklace, crushing all 900 of those beads against my delicate windpipe. christalmighty, you cannot take us anywhere.
when i asked her what shoes she wanted me to wear, she told me "cowboy boots." so i put on my cowboy boots. she said, "no, not those cowboy boots, THESE cowboy boots," and handed me the Minnetonkas. which seemed like a great time for a history lesson, but we were running late.
she was in a terrible mood when we were taking pictures, and was purposefully lazy about making sure i was actually in the frame. i told her if she did it right, i would give her a piece of candy. nope, didn't work. i promised her coins for her coin purse. and a treat from her "valentimes bag," an extra Peppa Pig, a Lamborghini. i was met with nothing but contempt. i finally threw up my hands and said, "FORGET IT! YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO WORK WITH! I'M FINISHED!" i'm really hoping none of my neighbors were outside during this little tête-à-tête.
ANYWAY, without further ado, here is how Miss G dressed me today for a doughnut date and a romp in the park with some friends:
and then some dogshit caught her eye and she took a photo of that.
and then i walked over to her and begged her to just take a couple more pictures PLEASE and so she took a blurry one of my butt as i was walking away.
and then she took one hundred shots in my general direction, but none actually of me. so i leaned into the very last shot before she dropped the phone and ran inside.
hat: TJ Maxx, top/necklace: Nordstrom Rack, bolero: H&M, pants: Ambercrombie, Minnetonka boots