Wednesday, March 11, 2015

mother learns

often times i find myself surprised by the things i've observed and learned as a mom. i thought i would periodically share these bits of wisdom with you guys:

1. i used to get very annoyed at JJ for using so many wipes during each diaper change. like guy, come on, you don't need 6 wipes for one clean, hard log of a turd. but i've really turned over a new leaf regarding this judgmental thinking. it's like come on, L. wipes cost $3/pack. use as many wipes as you think you need to get that little butthole nice and tidy. #worthit

2. if i offer Gemma a specific snack, she will say no and request something else. if i want her to eat that specific snack, all i have to do is to eat it first. scenario goes like this:

Gemma: "Mama please can i have a snack?"
me: "Yes! OK, do you want a cheese stick?"
Gemma: "no. i want jellybeans."
me: "you cannot have jellybeans."
Gemma: *acts like life is over*

10 minutes later, we are rushing out of the house because we are late and also i didn't have time to eat breakfast. so i grab 2 cheese sticks and leave.

in the car, i open the package to the first cheese stick.

Gemma, whose ears can hear the opening of any plastic wrapper within a 5-mile radius: "what's dat Mama?"
me: "it's a cheese stick."
clever and quick me, pulls out second cheese stick: "here you go, darling."

3. sometimes...sometimes a successful day's work means you resisted the urge to lock the 2-year-old outside in the rain and smile a very satisfied and smug smile from inside.

4. using the phrase/kind-of-lie, "maybe not today, maybe tomorrow" is the best response to the ridiculous requests Gemma makes on the daily (i.e. "mommy let's buy those black cookies!" *points at oreos in costco*) it's perfect because it keeps her from throwing a fit by filling her with (false) hope that the costco-sized oreos will be coming home with us another day soon. except i think she's caught on to the phrase/kind-of-lie's purpose of distracting the requestor with ambiguity. because now when i ask her to clean up her toys or get into the bath, she says, "ummm maybe not today, mommy."

5. an errant baby sock floating about in the diaper bag makes a great makeshift breast pad.

6. "it's just a phase" is my favorite affirmation. it has calmed me during many panic-stricken moments. it really does apply to just about any situation...from Beau's sleepless nights to that one time when Gemma tried to bite off Beau's pinky finger and i was afraid that meant she was going to turn into a serial killer.


  1. Love these--lotsa laughs and truth in this one. Picking your battles -- one of the very best pieces of advice I hand out regularly to new Moms. It's just too exhausting to care about everything! :) I love the 'maybe tomorrow'- works like a charm.

  2. PS- love the pics---SUCH a Mom of TWO! So sweet :)


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