Friday, June 26, 2015

what's inside my brain

summer, man. it's hot as balls in Seattle, which is totally fine because Gemma has swimming lessons at an outdoor pool 4 days a week. after a morning of playing in the sun, i so look forward to nap time when i can shut the blinds, eat my cheese sandwich and watch the new season of OITNB. holler!

i've got some random shit in my brain this fine afternoon, so i thought it would be nice and vain of me if i popped (hahhaa i just typed "pooped" on accident) in and let you all know what exactly that random shit is.

1. #summer

2. can someone please tell me why all of the employees at PetSmart have blue hair (like legit blue, not old person blue) and face piercings?? this trend is making me feel seriously out of the loop.

3. do you know where my son sleeps at night? he sleeps in the kitchen. we sleep trained him at 6 months and then he got sick and i let him nurse 48x/night and then we sort of let the sleep training go. he is such a happy-go-lucky guy that his lack of sleeping through the night didn't bother me. now he's nearly 9 months old and i'm tired, dammit. we are currently on night 5 of him sleeping from 7pm-6am, but Gemma sleeps from 8pm-7am and really enjoys waking him up at night when she gets into bed (coughing loudly, scream singing and kicking the wall are her favorite forms of night assholery). in the morning when he wakes up, Beau sighs heavily and yells "DAAAAAAAAA! BAAAAAA! MAMAMAMAMAAAAA!" until Gemma grumpily says, "BEAU. just. be. quiet. GO BACK TO SLEEP." and Beau laughs. justice! an eye for an eye. anyway, the kids sharing a room has come with its challenges. i know it has been wonderful for many families, so i remain hopeful. plus it really is cute when they are in there together talking to each other. warms a mother's heart.

4. i am ALL about baked zucchini lately. i'm going to give you my extremely complicated recipe: i slice it thinly, spread the slices on a cookie sheet, drizzle with olive oil, top with salt, pepper and a sprinkle of parmesan. bake at 350 for 30 minutes, and OHMYGOD they're practically like potato chips!

5. Cleo had a portrait session. the likeness is incredible, isn't it? i missed my calling as a chalk artist.

6. Gemma is obsessed with Kinetic Sand. it keeps her entertained for 40 minutes at a time. the only other thing that keeps her occupied that long is TV. also, that is Elsa dress #3. -__-

7. Gemma has the opposite problem of most people and always has to poop when we aren't home. more often than not we find ourselves in unavoidable shituations. by the time she tells us she has to go, the turd is def touching cotton, so we have no choice but to let her do her business right then and there. we had photos taken recently at the beach and JJ refused to take her into the porta-potty "THAT'S WHERE HOOKERS DO HEROIN, LACIE" so she pooped on the grass. just took a big fat dump on the grass like a dog. in his defense, she told us she only had to go tinkle. the poop was a surprise. and just last week we went blueberry picking with my mom and sister. G ate too many bluebs and had to do the duty. the only option was a porta-potty that i'm 100% sure hadn't been cleaned since 1984. so i basically just held her tiny bum over the reeking hole until she was done. omg so gross. and then she had the audacity to ask ME, "did you toot, mama? it stinks."

8. nothing depicts childhood quite like a collection of dirty band-aids covering a 3-year-old's legs after eating shit at the playground.

9. old man Hansen is at it again with his flowers this summer. he's been feeding them miracle grow and takes pictures of the growth every week. he has more photos of petunias in his phone than his own children. if you happen to come over to our house this summer, do me a solid and mention the beautiful flowers. the only thing JJ loves more than the flowers is people commenting on the flowers.

10. 5 p.m. everyday:


  1. room sharing is fast approaching over here and I.....I don't know if I can do it.

  2. Where did you get that adorable striped number with turquoise accents on beau in the first pic of the kids?

  3. You don't know me but I miss you! I hope this is a good silence, also that it is no longer hot as balls in Seattle.

  4. I check your blog often for an update. I miss it. I love your writing style. It cracks me up!!! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

  5. i second the other ladies! miss your writing and very, but know life is crazy busy. hope all is well with you and your lovely family!

  6. Lacie!! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?! You have readers you know :P Readers who miss your charm & whit. And your beautiful face. And your humour. And your gorgeous kids. Why you no write anymore?!

  7. Seriously! Get to writing. I adore your humor and real life. From a total random who found your blog from a client of mine while you were pregnant with Gemma. Then I found out I was pregnant and I couldn't wait for each post. I have two kiddos now too and we are dying for an update!!!

  8. Reading your posts are a guilty pleasure. Hope to see you soon


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