Wednesday, January 28, 2015


Beau is asleep next to me and i'm petrified to move him, lest he wake up and ruin this blog post. i'm also trying to quietly eat tortilla chips. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO QUIETLY EAT TORTILLA CHIPS?! it's really hard.

Gemma wanted Beau to have a bow. #littlebrotherproblems

JJ has a new office 8 minutes from our house which also happens to be conveniently located next door to a Pagliacci. so, pizza for lunch err day AMIRITE? #fat 

can we talk about my hair for a sec? my friends/family are sick of hearing about it, but seriously all of my glorious, thick, luscious pregnant hair is falling out and it's mildly depressing. every time i take a shower, i have to grab a handful of it out of the drain. and a couple weeks ago i noticed our washing machine was leaking. god dammit sears! i then pulled out a horrifying hairball from the rubber rim of the washer and nearly threw up. THEN on monday my vacuum cleaner stopped working. i flipped it over and there was literally enough hair jammed in the roller brush to make a wig. i was equal parts disgusted, devastated and astounded. i'm balding and it's NOT OK YOU GUYS. what i need is a haircut but i don't wanna. MY LIFE IS THE HARDEST.

i made an impulse buy this week that i'm thrilled about. it was a store display rug at Land of Nod that was practically free. i originally bought it for the kids' room but i'm kinda loving it out here:

isn't my living room so perfect and clean?! hahahahaa nah, jus playin'. i stuffed all the shit behind the pillows. anyway, this rug! it's so happy. a bit childish, but also so full of whimsey! we go through rugs ridiculously fast because of Cleopatra, that jerk. so i'm happy to report that she is not a fan of this rug at all. those dots are raised, so every time she tries to sit on it, she stands right up and turns in a circle, trying to figure out what the hell is poking her. hahhahaha what a dumbass. what i really need to do now is get rid of the coffee table so Gemma can run wild and free in that space. JJ would be so thrilled since he thinks that coffee table is garbage because it's weathered.

we went to the zoo this morning and as their faces depict, these girls were thrilled about it!!!

it was freezing cold and i've never seen the penguins happier. i refused to take the T-Rex Destroyer 5,000 purely based on its size, but sorely missed it once we got there. go figure! Beau was pleased with our adventure and spent the majority of the time sucking on a blanket.

it was the perfect mid-week outing! Gemma loves the animals! although i'm pretty positive one of the hippos has a nasty hemorrhoid. or some other kind of butthole lesion, the poor bastard.

Beau had lunch in the car (he eats about 40% of his meals in the car, jammed up against the steering wheel, so comfy!) while Gemma kicked the back of my seat demanding snacks and Taylor Swift, then we headed home for nap. which is ending in 11 minutes. 10 minutes now.

send me some hair growing vibes, plz. loveya

Monday, January 26, 2015

back in the swing

it's two minutes until 4, which is the time i need Gemma to wake up or else she'll be partying until midnight. but i just really don't feel like getting her up. i'm going to regret this decision tonight, but YOLO.

howwwwwww about this sun, Seattle?! yes yes yes. i love you, stay forever (rain in the forecast next week, naturally). we spent yesterday and this morning outside.

last week i went to buy a seahawk shirt and i found one in the youth boy section at Marshall's. for $7! on clearance! what?! how is that even possible? everywhere else has only XXL in everything left. i fist pumped my good fortune and tossed it into my cart. then i spotted another one. and another. and another and another and another. i narrowed my eyes. waaaaaaait a minute here. Something Is Not Right. all of them had the same number. 11. some fellow named "Harvin." a quick google search informed me that 1. i am indeed a bandwagon fan for not knowing that 2. Harvin is no longer even on the seattle seahawks team because he is in fact, an asshole of a man. when i told my die-hard hawk friend this story she said, "OH MY GOD! you're better off having no seahawks shirt! he was the cancer of our team!" but really though, what an almost-tragedy. i would have been such an embarrassment walking around in that thing!

that was a close one

HEYOOOOOO! Beau rolled over a handful of times this weekend. from his tummy to his back! (note: i only witnessed two of these...Gemma could have physically forced kindly urged him from belly to back for the rest).

we promised Gemma ice cream last night, so we took her to menchie's. all the night patrons at menchie's be like: "fuck it, goin' in mah jammies." i love it. anyway, Baby Beau fell in love with a spoon and it was adorable:

 we went out to dinner with my uncle, his fiancĂ©e and my great uncle on saturday and it was so good. like over the moon good. (Staple & Fancy in Ballard for the locals!) JJ and i have already decided to go there for our anniversary in July. you have to do the chef's choice. 7 courses! all surprises! and they even catered to my annoying pescatarianism. 800 stars for this place, really. also, i have exciting news! the newest Worst Photo Of Me Ever In Life is in existence!

i took this selfie on the way to dinner while Uptown Funk was on the radio. that song is so good, you know?! you like, can't NOT take a vain party selfie while it's playing.

at this point i was slightly regretting the sparkly teen eye make-up, but was really feeling happy with the decision to buy this giant white furry coat (purchased last summer) because it looks like i'm wearing a sheep. all in all, feeling fancy.

so we enjoy dinner. take a pic at the end and we are on our way. scrolling through pics in car ride home and i see this and i'm like GASP! NOT SO FANCY ANYMORE OMFG

let's take a closer look, shall we?

it's pretty much impossible to address all the discrepancies here. so you can just soak it up and enjoy. happy monday.

Monday, January 19, 2015


my babies are all sick as dogs! JJ included. it doesn't seem to be the Death Flu that's been going around, but everyone is feeling lousy except me. congested and coughy and no sleep for anyone. Beau is whiney and doesn't want to be put down and Gemstorm is her usual wild self, only with 800x the amount of mucus. help me.

MEET the T-Rex Destroyer 5,000. Jeremy loves it because it can "handle the rough terrain in our neighborhood," Gemma loves it because she has easy access to Beau's eyeballs, Beau loves it because he's never been in a stroller before this weekend and he enjoys watching the world go by, and i love it because i'm all PEACE OUT TURDS, GOING TO TAKE A SHOWER ALONE. only that didn't really happen because Cleo hadn't been bathed in a month. so i ended up in the shower with the dog. 

when i'm taking pictures of the kids, i usually just press my thumb down 100 times and hope i get a good one. and every once in a while i capture something really profound. can't you just see the wheels turning in Gem's head?!?!?!?!?! (also, in case you were wondering, Gemma did NOT scratch Beau's face. phew. he scratched himself).

oh, Beau! you!

we got the book Ferdinand for Christmas from my aunt and it really is the sweetest little tale. a nice reminder to stop and smell the flowers. Gemma loves Ferdinand. HE'S A BULLLLLLL MOMMY. THAT'S A BOYCOW.

 this is like, the millionth picture i've posted where the couch is the background. hahahaaa we spend so much time here. it's the hub! this was a snapchat i sent. B's little quizzical face is just too good!

FaceTiming Daddy on Saturday while he was right outside cleaning the gutters. we were with him in spirit. we were also with him in spirit when he cleaned out the pantry after it collapsed on Friday. good man, that one.

our newest literature.

and also, how about those Seahawks?! ohmygosh! even i watched that game! it was pretty good! i'm a total bandwagon fan, i know i know, but it's fun that they're going to the Super Bowl again!! 

L out!

Friday, January 16, 2015

what's inside my brain

1. we got a new couch! a real, live adult couch you guys. we were still using the ones i had in college (which i weirdly still love and refused to get rid of so they are stashed in JJ's office for the time being, much to his delight). and we loooooove it! we bought it on Black Friday from West Elm and got a sweet deal! but before we purchased it JJ made me promise not to ever get mad if Gemma spills on it or Beau barfs on it, etc. usually i'm pretty good about remembering that promise. but just today, after we were testing out some new red lipstick, Gemstone got a red smear on it. and i was like MOTHERFU-- *deep breath* oh, Gemma. be a dear and please do not wipe your red lips on the new couch. anyway. it's wonderful. and there's a corner spot that is obviously mine and it's so cozy and perfect, i could (and would) stay there all day and never leave.


(slightly less staged)

2. this slo-mo vid of my sister's husband throwing Gemma into the air in the pool on our Christmas trip to Suncadia. i forgot her swimsuit so she is wearing the size 0-6 months swim trunks Santa brought for Beau. hahahaah

3. Beau's doppelgänger:

4. so i got these pair of socks like 2 years ago in my stocking from my mom and i love them so much. they are stretchy wool and they're so soft and snuggly and they're the only socks that keep my feet properly warm inside of rain boots. i covet them. and i tried earnestly to wear them sparingly so as not to make them threadbare too quickly. i was telling my sister CA this riveting information and she asked to see what they looked like. i showed her and she was like WHAT?! L! THOSE ARE FROM COSTCO! i was like SHUT UP NO THEY ARE NOT FROM COSTCO. RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE, ALL THIS TIME?! and then my sister CA went out and bought me a whole pack of them. all for my very own self! she's the sweetest. and i am so soooo excited about owning so many pairs. but for serious, if you, like me, have been on the serious hunt for some good superior socks, look no further than your local costco! i could not find them on their website, but here is what one pair from the pack looks like. because obviously i'm wearing them RIGHT NOW.

5. Gemma today on our way into ballet: "Jesus Christ! this is not my nipple!" *points to bellybutton*

6. one more reason to love Pope Francis: he wants all the mothers to feed their babies! whenever! wherever!

7. JJ was out of town for a couple days so it was survival mode around here (wine not pictured). it was selfie city over here and we totally jammed his phone with them until he got back.

8. we are in the process of signing up Miss G for preschool starting next fall, and it's just so...i want to cry just thinking about it. she's so ollllllld! the preschool is so close to our house that we can just walk (rain or shine only. so probably like 10% of the time). she has to wear a uniform and they're so cute and miniature, she's going to be so adorable! it's a play-based learning curriculum and i know she's just going to love school so much.

9. go hawks!

10. although i swore we wouldn't...we got a beast. A BEAST. a giant ass double stroller that doesn't even fit through the door at starbucks. 'twas JJ who really wanted it. i suggested a simple, black double that would be low profile and easy to maneuver, but NO. he went and found us a good deal on ebay...choosing a bright orange double bob. i mean you wouldn't even believe how enormous it is. the fedex man brought the box to our door today and he was like sweating. we'll take her out on her maiden voyage this evening and i'll report back on how many small animals we unintentionally  killed in our monster semi truck.

also, i know this is kind of a weird platform for this, but if you live in the Seattle area and are in need of a single jogger, we are selling our old one. it's a Joovy Zoom 360. love it--such a good stroller. it's in good condition, just a bit of weather damage on inside sun canopy. comes with rain cover. retail $250, asking $100. email me if you're interested!

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

the thing about a boy.

when Gemma was born, i was just tickled that she was a girl. my very own little sweet BFF. and JJ when he held her the first time--talk about heart explosion. i don't think i ever knew how badly i wanted a girl until she was born.

and then there was Beau. Beau was always my Beau. i had his name picked out from day 1 (so happy JJ agreed. not so much with girl names...on the morning of his birthday we still didn't even have a girl name picked out!) and i just knew he was Beau in there. and after JJ exclaimed "BOY!" i started crying. a little boy! i didn't even know what to do with myself. he changed my whole life in one instant. babies are so magical, aren't they? i've learned about a different kind of love. i didn't even know the heart could have so many different kinds of love. when JJ came along, he just kind of took over in there. then it miraculously made room for my Gemma, then grew even bigger for my Beau. just, HOW?! it's incredible. i have been given this job of raising both a daughter and a son. and i do not take it lightly! there's something very special there.

as one of four daughters, i cannot even tell you how many times people say, "oh your poor dad!" i hate it. like really really really HATE it when people say that to me. like it's some sort of terrible thing that he has five women in his life to love him. he adores having a wife and four daughters. he was and is the world's best girldad. he could always make the perfect topsy tail. he can spot a Betsey Johnson store (well, he could. before they all closed.) from a mile away. he has sobbed at three weddings thus far, giving us away to our husbands. girls are all he knows. and girls were all i knew, too. so when G was born, i was comfortable. it was like, "i got this," from the very beginning.

Beau has taught me some new things. lots of new things actually. for instance, just a few weeks ago, i learned all about "Fromunda Cheese" from Beau's father, when i questioned the substance lurking under his little nutsack. just barfffff! boys are so gross. SO GROSS YOU GUYS.

and you know something? i never understood the whole "Mother And Her Son" thing. you know what i'm talking about. like your husband/boyfriend's mom is obsessed with her son(s). to the point where it's like "ohmygod stoppppp. just stop. he is a grown and married man! do not do his laundry for him and buy mozzarella cheese sticks just for him when he comes to visit!" here is something you should know about JJ: he intentionally "forgets" his toothbrush every time we visit his parents. and his mom always always has a brand new toothbrush waiting for him in the bathroom. i always used to roll my eyes at such instances. BUT. but now, i get it. i even had to call JJ's mom to tell her that i get it. there is just something about having a son. HE WILL NEVER EVER LOVE ANYONE BUT ME, OKAY?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!!! and also i'm getting his name tattooed on my heart because he is my little perfect, wonderful gentleman. and now i've joined the club and all of you women out there who don't have sons (or at least not yet) are rolling your eyes at me. #motherboy

and so. Little Beau Blue, my love. i want you to be one of the good ones. i want you to be strong. and yet i want you to be soft. i want you to love animals. i want you to cherish your sister and your parents. i want you to be compassionate. i want you to have adventures--i want you to get grass stains on your knees! i want you to respect your female counterparts. i want you to be true. i want you to fill your head with dreams. i want you to be free and wild. you were meant for this life, guy. i love you!

Friday, January 9, 2015

L's world

both of my children are asleep and i'm about to piss myself with excitement! OH THE TIME! i have already gone to the bathroom alone, watched an episode of Girls, and eaten three fudge covered oreos. slowly. usually they are eaten in haste, because i don't want Gemma to catch me. this is what i look like when she does catch me:

guilty as fuck.

anyway, i thought i'd give ye olde blog some love today. so here's a rundown of what's happening.

1. we had our annual Christmas PJ party with Sandi & Isla!

2. we had Christmas in Suncadia.

3. JJ's sister Sarah and her family came to Seattle and we made Gemma's LIFE by visiting the top of the Space Needle.

4. meltdown #8,593

5. we traveled to California for Little Christmas.

6. we spent time with my sister's sweet, sweet baby.

7. typical Cleo acting like she runs the show.

8. #shakeitoff

9. G fell asleep with Taco Bell in her hand. can't say i've never been there.

10. this one-piece sweatsuit my mom got me and my sisters for Christmas. aptly named "The Yeti," i have yet to go 24 hours without wearing it. owning one is equal parts awesome and awful.

11. Little Beau Blue has nearly grown out of his bassinet. *sobs*

that's about it for now. i need to spend the rest of nap time being productive. i've got some toenails that need clipping and some preschools that need researching.

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