Wednesday, March 18, 2015

come home

heyo! what's good in the neighborhood? wait. isn't that the applebee's slogan? no, no, that's eatin' good in the neighborhood. how did i even know that? CATCHY JINGLES, I TELL YOU.


i'm barely surviving over here. JJ is in Sacramento for work and the kids are just finally getting over the longest sickness there ever was. after Gemma's complaints of "dere's bugs in my ear. BEES! GOING BUZZ BUZZ! can you get them out mama?" we took her to the doctor. terrible ear infection. the next day Beau started wheezing like a 95-year-old smoker, so off to urgent care we went. he got hit with the RSV/bronchiolitis/ear infection trifecta of destruction and a follow-up appointment on monday threw in an eye infection for free.

JJ left in the midst of this, to sunny California where he was blessed with 9-hour nights of sleep and fine dining and i want to punch him. i'm over here eating boxed macaroni and perma-wearing my onesie.

all while keeping two kids and one dog alive! i'm frazzled. i even forgot it was Lent. and it wasn't until i wiped the crumbs off my face from eating two (haters gonna hate) cake pops in my car that i remembered i gave up dessert for 40 days. they were so good though. hard to regret.

so did any of you watch Friday Night Lights? i watched the pilot episode yesterday and then asked JJ if i should stop and wait for him to get home so we could watch it together. he said yes. but i'm the worst and kept watching. once again, hard to regret. noteworthy: Minka Kelly is The Prettiest Person.

JJ finally comes home tomorrow, and i can't wait to:

so i can watch more Friday Night Lights.

while JJ has been gone, his kids were busy excelling at life:

Beau ate (and fell in love with) food.

and mastered a new skill.

while Gemma perfected the art of dressing for spring weather in Seattle.

and pulled down her pants (and also stepped in dog shit which impressively spread itself around to the likes of me, Beau and her baby doll) at the playground.


come home, JJ. we need you.

p.s. i had to write a short note about my parents dog. ol Lola passed away. we got off on the wrong foot when she was a puppy--that hyper, neurotic pain in my ass. but gosh i grew to love that dog. Gemma loved her too. we told her that Lola went to go live at God's house where there are lots of treats and a big backyard for her to run around in. cheers to you, Lola.

Lola, Gemma & Cleo. summer 2013.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

mother learns

often times i find myself surprised by the things i've observed and learned as a mom. i thought i would periodically share these bits of wisdom with you guys:

1. i used to get very annoyed at JJ for using so many wipes during each diaper change. like guy, come on, you don't need 6 wipes for one clean, hard log of a turd. but i've really turned over a new leaf regarding this judgmental thinking. it's like come on, L. wipes cost $3/pack. use as many wipes as you think you need to get that little butthole nice and tidy. #worthit

2. if i offer Gemma a specific snack, she will say no and request something else. if i want her to eat that specific snack, all i have to do is to eat it first. scenario goes like this:

Gemma: "Mama please can i have a snack?"
me: "Yes! OK, do you want a cheese stick?"
Gemma: "no. i want jellybeans."
me: "you cannot have jellybeans."
Gemma: *acts like life is over*

10 minutes later, we are rushing out of the house because we are late and also i didn't have time to eat breakfast. so i grab 2 cheese sticks and leave.

in the car, i open the package to the first cheese stick.

Gemma, whose ears can hear the opening of any plastic wrapper within a 5-mile radius: "what's dat Mama?"
me: "it's a cheese stick."
clever and quick me, pulls out second cheese stick: "here you go, darling."

3. sometimes...sometimes a successful day's work means you resisted the urge to lock the 2-year-old outside in the rain and smile a very satisfied and smug smile from inside.

4. using the phrase/kind-of-lie, "maybe not today, maybe tomorrow" is the best response to the ridiculous requests Gemma makes on the daily (i.e. "mommy let's buy those black cookies!" *points at oreos in costco*) it's perfect because it keeps her from throwing a fit by filling her with (false) hope that the costco-sized oreos will be coming home with us another day soon. except i think she's caught on to the phrase/kind-of-lie's purpose of distracting the requestor with ambiguity. because now when i ask her to clean up her toys or get into the bath, she says, "ummm maybe not today, mommy."

5. an errant baby sock floating about in the diaper bag makes a great makeshift breast pad.

6. "it's just a phase" is my favorite affirmation. it has calmed me during many panic-stricken moments. it really does apply to just about any situation...from Beau's sleepless nights to that one time when Gemma tried to bite off Beau's pinky finger and i was afraid that meant she was going to turn into a serial killer.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

"nap time" // 7

is the text i sent to my mom this morning.* and it has sort of set the mood for the day. i'm so tired and coffee did nothing to help me. and now it is nap time and no one is sleeping. because i tried to put them both in their room at the same time for nap. i had the monitor on, and i watched Beau fall asleep. yes! but then i watched Gemma shout sing and throw books on the ground and smack her baby doll against the wall in a very earnest attempt to wake him up. and she succeeded. so i moved Beau into my room to give The Wild One free range of her bedroom. this is what she's currently up to:

oh hai you little tyrant!

when i pushed the button to speak to her through the iPad to say, "Gemma get your fanny back into bed," she responded, "MOMMY! just don't! i can't believe it. i can't believe it. i just can't believe it." 

she hasn't been napping well for the past two weeks, and i fear greatly that she is growing out of the nap phase. HELP MEEEEEEEE.

also, how do i get both of the children to sleep peacefully together in the same room? HOW?! i'm flummoxed. kids share rooms all the time! and kids have shared rooms for centuries! this cannot be that difficult. am i missing something? 

*answer key: Baby Beau did not sleep well last night and i'm in bad shape as a result. 
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