Thursday, April 9, 2015

Palm Springs in Pictures

The Hansens Eastered in Palm Springs this year! and let me tell YOU--it was a bit different than the last time i went. the last time i went, i got two things: 1. drunk and 2. a tattoo. 

we had the best time! such a nice warm getaway. let's do a little photo montage, shall we?

for some reason i have yet to understand, JJ booked our flight for 8 p.m. Gemma and Beau traveled in their jammies and i was in sweats. JJ showed us all up by wearing his jeans. jeans on a night flight? i can think of very few things worse than that. anyway, we had enough time to grab Qdoba in the airport (and kicked ourselves for not going to Beecher's instead. 100% failure on our part). 

Gemma has entered an "i only make obnoxious faces when i see a camera" phase. and Beau is obsessed with food. o-b-s-e-s-s-e-d. 

by the time we landed and gathered all of our shit, it was 11 p.m. and everyone in our party was being an asshole. 

we all fell into bed at JJ's parents house, and left bright and early in the morning for the Springs! 

we stopped at In n Out for a nice healthy brunch at 10:25 and had to wait in the car for 5 minutes until they opened. #fat.

after our delicious meal, we stopped off at CGU in Claremont where i used to work and i pointed out the building where my office was:

me: "you see children, back when Mommy had a brain, she used to work right there! all of the students came to Mommy's office to pay for their school." 
Beau: "dadadadadadadadadadadaaaaaa!"
JJ: "what's Scripps again? is that the all-girls college?
me: -__-

then i made JJ drive by the strip club with the clever signs:

heh heh heh...i love that sign it never disappoints.

we didn't have the time (or the care) to visit our old shitty apartment in Rancho Cucamongross, so we waved at the exit from the freeway. 

and then we sang some songs and watched the giant windmills and pointed out all the pictures on the billboards and before we knew it, we were in Palm Springs! i had to use Ye Olde Ladies Room in a very bad way. so JJ pulled over at Target and i ran inside and:

basically started crying. NO! NOOOOOO! beads of sweat formed along my brow line as i raced next door to the Sports Authority. no public restrooms. MOTHER F. I HATE EVERYONE. i crawled desperately back to Target with every intention of using the men's room, just as the cleaning woman was exiting the women's room. i could have kissed her. 

after that hideous episode, we drove to the house. where we promptly changed into our swimsuits (and Gemma promptly removed hers) and went out to the pool. she prefers a good old fashioned skinny dip.  

Beau partied the afternoon away.

and while they slept, i enjoyed a bit of peace and quiet.

slowly but surely, the rest of the Hansens arrived. we ate a delicious dinner and put the kids to bed and stayed up late chatting and drinking wine and laughing at JJ's dad, who was snoring on the couch.

the next morning, Gemma woke up in a top notch mood. 

JJ went golfing with his dad, brother and brother-in-law, while the rest of us parked it by the pool.


bud light lime > all of the other beers.

kids crash so hard for nap time after a morning playing in the sun. which is so great for mothers who want to lay on a pool floatie for 3 hours drinking beer.

JJ snapped this pic of me which would have been great were it not for the bottom of my boob hanging out of my swim suit top. honestly, L. some things never change.

Beau woke up from his vacation naps before Gemma so we had special pool time just the two of us. my sweet little Bullbeauzer loves the water.

after nap we all just hung out in the sun, letting our vampirish Seattle skin absorb the vitamin D. Beau gets real pissed if he's playing with something and drops it. like SO PISSED. in this case it was that water bottle. look at Gemma. she's all judgy, looking down her nose at Beau with that cookie in her hand. rude!

the evening was more of the same. good food, good people, good conversation, bed time. Beau slept in the laundry room across the hall, and when JJ and i checked on him before bed, we heard a scuttling of some sort. bulghhhhh!!!! definitely a creature alive in the laundry room with Beau.

after much arguing, it was decided that the noise was most definitely coming from the trash can and that JJ would most definitely be the one to remove the trash can from Beau's room.

AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE CREATURE WAS?! IT WAS A COCKROACH. OH, GOD. A COCKROACH. WORST CASE SCENARIO. unless of course it was a scorpion. or a coyote. ok so it was the third worst case scenario.

when you find one cockroach, that means there are actually 7 million cockroaches, so we got Baby B the fuck outta there. it took us a while to fall asleep that night. we kept scratching phantom cockroaches tickling our arms. asjdfkdfhdsfjkdfjsfljkdf

and then we woke up and The Bunny had been!

and also a family of rats had apparently visited JJ's hair.

off to Mass we went. but the church was full to the brim.

so we sat outside, but there weren't any speakers. so we couldn't hear anything.

so we took the obligatory Easter pictures...

the grandchildren minus one sweet baby girl who was dearly missed!

before turning around and heading back...wait for the pool!

the kids napped...

while i accepted from my nephews the challenge of jumping onto and landing upon a floatie in the pool. my brother-in-law captured this incredibly flattering and badass photo of me looking extremely athletic. 

we went to Tommy Bahama for dinner before packing our suitcases.

the next morning we drank coffee before saying our goodbyes, and got on the plane home to rainy Seattle. we all went to bed early that night, dreaming of the sun. and Gemma woke up the next day with pink eye and an ear infection. dammit.

cheers, Palm Springs. until we meet again.
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